Rant Ramble and Repeat 3

Impeach George Bush

2008-05-22T09:15:00.000-07:00

Amendment IV

"The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized. "

George Bush has brought the American People in eight months short of eight years:
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-- wars he initiated and accelerated in Afghanistan and Iraq that have cost hundreds of thousands of lives, including thousands of U.S. soldiers killed and tens of thousands disabled for life with no intention and little prospect of ending direct U.S. military involvement half a world away in the next eight years; -- vast increases in military expenditures, erosion of the planets environment, greater global warming, and a staggering National Debt; -- pervasive violations of the Bill or Rights, civil rights and civil liberties of U.S. citizens and human rights of foreigners including summary executions, torture, kidnapping, prolonged secret detention, and massive invasions of privacy; -- corruption of justice by pursuing political and selective prosecutions, false charges and national, ethnic, racial and religious persecution and profiling; -- tax cuts for the rich, neglect of the poor, $4 a gallon gasoline, high prices for food and other necessities, mortgage foreclosures on the homes of tens of thousands of American families, a pattern of policies intended to enrich the rich and impoverish the poor in the U.S. and abroad. President Bush has concealed, misrepresented and falsified facts essential to governance in a free society to mislead the Congress, the Judiciary and the people. In his remaining eight months, President Bush will continue to threaten other nations in violation of international law and clearly intends to commit new aggressions in his belligerent presidency. If not stopped by impeachment he may strike Iran’s nuclear projects and immerse the United States in avoidable war for a generation far more exhausting than any we have known. Seeking to prevent anyone from daring to even talk with empires, or peoples he proclaims “evil”, Bush invokes “appeasement” of the Nazis, as he condemns “...the false comfort of appeasement, which has been repeatedly discredited by history” to prevent any communication with enemies he selects. Yet he knows that not only Barack Obama and Jimmy Carter have proposed meetings with Iran, Syria, North Korea, Hamas, Hezbollah and others to resolve conflicts, but that his own Secretary of State, Condoleeza Rice, and Secretary of Defense, Robert Gates, Admiral William J. Fallon, immediate past commander of all U.S. forces in the Middle East and his predecessor General John P. Abizaid, among many other U.S. leaders, have urged dialogue with Bush defined evil empires, as a means of reducing tension and avoiding war. George Bush knows only force. When he speaks of freedom as his purpose, he intends force as his means. Freedom from the barrel of the gun. He believes torture, kidnaping, secret detention are the way to freedom. Above all he uses deliberate deception, concealment of facts and outright lies to the American people and the world as the way to start the wars he begins, but fails to end. Completely arrogant, he built a $700 million dollar U.S. Embassy, the largest and most expensive in history, in the heart of Baghdad in the midst of a half decade bloody occupation of all Iraq, his Imperial Capitol in the Emerald City, exposed to daily mortar attacks. And a major new $60 million dollar U.S. prison away from home just north of Kabul, an Afghan Guantanamo, surely good for the recruitment of 25,000 Muslims from around the world who cannot bear to see a new alien torture factory on Muslim soil. In the final eight months of his presidency George Bush has made it clear he will be the decider of the next eight years and more. What else can he mean when he lectures the Israeli Knesset telling it “...Israel’s population may be just over 7 million. But when you confront terror and evil you are 307 million strong because America stands with you.”, and in the same breath proclaims that letting Iran acquire nuclear weapons would be an “unforgivable betrayal of future generations ... America stands firmly with you in opposing Iran’s nuclear weapons ambitions.” And that immediately after both Israeli Prime Minister Olmert and major opposition leader Benjamin Netanyahu, whose address immediately preceded Bush’s, called for harsh action to be taken against Iran’s nuclear development. Of course, Iran like the rest of the world knows both the U.S. and Israel have nuclear warheads capable of obliterating whole nations and major new nuclear arms programs, all in violation of the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty. Threatened nations may believe possession of nuclear weapons is the only deterrent to U.S. aggression. While President Bush continues his quest for a “peace” agreement between Israel and Palestine, he arms and incites Palestine to civil war, condones ever expanding Israeli settlements in East Jerusalem and the West Bank and proclaims the U.S. as “proud to be Israel’s closest ally and best friend” in a rare moment of truthfulness, hardly reassuring Palestinians that he can be an honest broker and enraging Arab peoples who have suffered with Palestine for sixty years. After praising Israel, which has brought Palestine to tenuous conditions of impoverishment and sudden death, Bush, who has reduced the population of Iraq to the most miserable and endangered on earth with one in five in internal, or external exile, lectures “nations across the Middle East” to “...treat their people with the dignity and respect they deserve.” There has been no greater failure in the history of the Congress and the American people than our present failure to proceed with impeachment proceedings against George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and others for these long near eight years of high crimes and misdemeanors, trashing our most precious principles by torture, aggression, and lies, making America the enemy of humanity in many eyes. Our failure to act now may expose America and the world to years of war, impoverishment, environmental degradation and suffering. The Constitution is far more explicit about the importance and procedure for impeachment than any other power vested in the Congress. It provides in Article II, Section 4, that “The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors” and in Article I, Section 2, that “The House of Representatives ... shall have the sole Power of Impeachment.” A Bill of Impeachment filed in the House of Representatives is referred to the Committee on the Judiciary. The Judiciary Committee has the primary responsibility for initiating and receiving all Bills of Impeachment, investigating, conducting hearings, voting on and sending those Bills of Impeachment to the House of Representatives for final determination. Its faithful performance of this awesome duty is essential to the integrity, honor and survival itself of Constitutional government in the United States. The Judiciary Committee and its Chairman have failed to act in the face of overwhelming evidence of the most grievous high Crimes and Misdemeanors ever to imperil our nation and its place among nations. It is imperative that We, the People of the United States, demand of the Committee on the Judiciary of the House of Representatives and its Chairman John Conyers that they immediately commence consideration of the many allegations of impeachable offenses by President George W. Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney and other civil Officers of the Untied States and present a comprehensive Bill of Impeachment for Committee consideration by July 4, 2008. I ask every American who cares about the integrity of our government and the welfare of our People and those we assault to immediately demand Chairman John Conyers and the Committee on the Judiciary of the House of Representatives commence hearings on a Bill of Impeachment of President Bush, Vice President Cheney and others by July 4, 2008.

2008-05-06T09:01:00.000-07:00

It's all Vainity.When I first started to "blog" some time ago my most basic reason for doing so was to have a record of my thoughts and perspectives attached to an exact date. I, at first, didn't want to have anyone read it, it was for me. Vainity.As I explored this form of on line, public journaling my entries became more sophisticated and my motives changed. It was a way to exspess myself in a way that I was unable to do so in person to person relationships. It became a way of saying "Hey, listen to me!". Vainity.I knew only a few people would ever actually look at it and even fewer of those who did woulds actually read it. Those I thought would examine my blog entries with a more than casual eye were either close to me or people whom I share a creative writting realtionship with. notice the use of the word my, Vainity.It occured to me as well about this time I could use this forum to tell certain people things I couldn't otherwise express to them. It would be a perfect way to tell those I have sour feelings for to go fuck themselves. People who other wise would not listen. If I wrote about them they would read and be forced to listen to my perspective. If you include someones name in a essay, journal entry, cartoon or whatever they almost certainly will read it because people are VAIN.Time moves on.Tic Toc, Tic Toc.I found myself writing more sophisticated entries into my various online avenues of self-expression . Ones that did not center completely on me. I was particularly proud of these later ones as I felt that they showed how I was growing as a writer. I was vain in an all new way.I decided I was proud enough, or at least longed so badly to have my say in a world I felt cheated by, to send out links to friends and family hopeing to have the people who's opinion mattered most to me reveiw the content of my "rawest" work. I knew not everyone would bother but I did expect some response, positive or negative, something. Vainity.Nothing at all happened. Turns out nobody cares about the rantings of one vain little man. I know I don't, should it surprise me thatothers don't as well?I knew that was a possiability though what really surprised me and made realize what vain, petty, selfindulgent and arrogant things like this blog are (and a million others like it) was my fiancees reaction and responses to my creations. "You never write about me ." Then in single most appropriate response I have seen to date, she went and created her own blog.I don't really think that says everthing about the issue nor does it lay out all my mixed feelings on the topic but as I don't expect this to be read does it really matter? If this is truely what I say it is, to myself and others, why should I care? Isn't this supposed to be a soort of diary? Open to anyone who cares to read it but not created specificly as a passive-aggresive battle feild?Maybe I am just extra crabby because I have given up smoking as of this morning and not because I wanted to. I hear that makes you a little testy. I do not know but at least if I accept the above assertations I am free of the bother of running shit through spellcheck.

The Chocolate Dog cometh

2007-03-19T17:47:00.000-07:00

Happy Saint Patricks Day from Saint Tuesday

2007-03-17T19:25:00.000-07:00

Happy Saint Patricks Day from Saint Tuesday. My brother is in Savannah Georgia today for their St Paddy's day celebration. I hope he has a wonderful and safe time...I always loved going there and have more than a few good stories from those days I might just have to post here or on SE sometime.

Little extra triva ...Kevin, my brother has a really cool shamrock tattoo...

How to build a YF-22 fighter plane of your own

2007-03-16T20:26:00.000-07:00

You will need:
One penny, dated circa 1900
A cereal box (unopened, i.e. containing cereal)
A coin-operated time machine
A bank account containing at least 20.00$
1039 metric tons of scotch tape
Go to a cash machine and withdraw exactly 20.00$ from your bank account. Buy something costing around 5.49$ from any nearby store, to obtain some change. Use the money to operate the time machine. (Note: time machine, bank account and the money contained therein will be created at later steps. Therefore the only equipment you ACTUALLY need to find in order to build this F-16 is the scotch tape, the penny and the cereal box. However, you should ensure that all of the above items are present before you begin, or you will not be successful.)
Head forwards in time by several thousand years to an era of human history, which has invented time travel. withdraw some more cash from your account - it will have accumulated a HUGE quantity of interest during this time - and purchase a coin-operated time machine identical in model to your own. Send this back in time on autopilot to several minutes before you started following these instructions. This accounts for the time machine in the above list.
Head back to the 1900s or thereabouts and open a bank account with what was your current bank in your home era. Remember, banks go through name changes, so be sure to check up on what its old name used to be. Deposit the old penny. Compound interest should increase the value of this penny to about 20.00$ by the time you need it in 2003ish. All of your money is now also accounted for, as is your bank account.
Take your scotch tape and your box of cereal backwards in time by roughly 14,000,000,000 years and allow the preposterous quantity of scotch tape to undergo gravitational collapse to form a star. This star should be of sufficient mass to go supernova, generating large amounts of iron and other heavy elements. If you picked your spot correctly, this should result in the creation of our Sun and the planet Earth, both of which you are therefore directly responsible for.
Head down onto the shores of young, sterile, lifeless Earth and empty out the box of cereal onto a randomly selected stretch of coastline. Mold and bacteria in the cereal should soon begin to munch on the cereal, then the box, gradually evolving and growing until becoming life, as we know it. You are now also responsible for the evolution of humanity, and obviously, all things that humanity has ever done, including, for example, the invention of time machines, bank accounts, scotch tape, breakfast cereal, and YF-22 fighter planes (Cool). (Note: even if the bacteria die out and humanity evolves by other means, then you still made Earth and everything on it, so you still get the credit for YF-22s. However, the cereal box is not directly involved.)
Head to the distant future a second time. Extract millions of dollars from your bank account.
Finally, return to the present day. Purchase a real YF-22.

Global Warming...A humorous essay

2007-03-15T09:32:00.000-07:00

It is almost universally accepted now that the Earth is getting warmer. Simply looking at the statistics will tell you this - people who would argue otherwise tend to be the kind of tinfoil hat people who also believe that imminent magnetic pole reversal will kill everybody on Earth in 2030-something and that comets don't exist and so on and so forth. The real question that we should all be asking ourselves is not whether the Earth is getting warmer. The question is: how will this affect us?
Obviously there will be positive effects - for example, who wouldn't want to live on the newly formed tropical sunny Swiss coast? But, like any change anybody ever made to anything ever, there will also be negative effects, which will most likely outweigh the positive. As the equatorial regions of our planet grow hotter, vital industries serving the Western world from that region may diminish in capacity and - to put it bluntly - life will not be so cushy. People will have to relocate in the wake of extreme weather conditions like floods and hurricanes, which will cost the global taxpayer a stunning amount of cash overall. Granted, it may be that the changes occur smoothly enough that very few people actually perish as the Earth grows warmer, but we will NOT enjoy the transition period and the brave new world WILL prove relatively expensive to adapt to.
Overall, then, the prevailing opinion among scientists (although this is by no means as universally agreed upon as the existence of global warming itself) is that global warming would be a bad thing. It is only upon agreement of this point that we move on to the third question, which is "Can we reduce global warming?", and the fourth question, by far the most contentious, "What is causing global warming in the first place?"
Now, some people take the highly controversial view that global warming is a wholly natural event - the Earth is well known to have gone through phases of being warm and being cold in the past. The implication they take from this is that global warming cannot, or should not, be fought - we have no choice but to put up with it! (Note that this isn't actually a logically airtight argument. Mankind fights and generally wipes the floor with nature all the time.) Most of the people who put forward this point of view tend to be the kind of people whose corporations' factories' continuously accelerating output of CO2 and other greenhouse gases are what most sane observers believe is the actual reason behind global warming. (GLOBAL WARMING IS PEOPLE! PEEEEEEEOPLE!)
I take a third point of view. I'm of a more scientific bent - I am a fan of the mathematician, the logician, the rational reasoner. I say that reducing CO2 output wouldn't do the job - even if we reduced it to zero and planted trees to scoop up the excess - because that's not the CAUSE of global warming. We need to cut straight to the source.
The Sun is the cause of global warming.
We need to turn off the Sun.
Don't worry, I don't mean permanently.
Proposal
The average surface temperature of Earth's atmosphere is about 14°C or 287 Kelvins. This has been measured to increase by about 0.6 Kelvins over the last 200 years, or about 0.2% of its absolute temperature. Which means the Sun is giving out roughly 0.2% more energy than we need to keep it at the required temperature. Therefore, if we make it so the Sun gives out about 0.2% less energy, everything will be fine!
Thus I propose that we turn off the Sun for roughly 0.2% of each solar day, or two to four minutes every 24 hours.
Naturally if these back-of-the-envelope calculations prove inaccurate we can increase or decrease the period of deactivation as needed.
The effects of turning the Sun off for 2 to 4 minutes per day will not differ significantly from those of a total solar eclipse. Eclipses occur roughly twice per year and typically last a comparable period of time, although eclipses lasting as long as 11 minutes are known to be possible. Light-sensitive street lights on the affected hemisphere of the Earth will temporarily light up; birds will stop singing; people will not be able to see each other very well; that sort of thing.
Assessment
Pros
We can end global warming now and forever by this method.
We no longer have to worry about strictly limiting our CO2 output, which would require an enormous effort, as well as being time-consuming and unprofitable. Atmospheric CO2 concentrations will no longer be a problem (until around the year 2100 when they approach the level which is lethal to human life - at which point other solutions will doubtless present themselves).
We can save 0.2% on our energy bill, which, I'm sure we all know, is both very large and almost completely unpaid.
Cons
The onset of the deactivation would be much more rapid than the minutes-long lead-up period to a solar eclipse - in fact, nearly instantaneous. In particular, this will catch motorists and cyclists by surprise.
To minimize the danger thus posed, I would propose that the deactivations be arranged to occur as predictably and regularly as possible - preferably at the exact same time every day. In order that the minimum number of people are inconvenienced by the momentary loss of illumination, I would also propose to arrange for the deactivations to occur at midnight UTC, while the Sun is approximately centered over the Pacific Ocean. Japan would thus see the deactivations around dawn; the American West Coast, around dusk. Most other places would be unaffected, as it would already be nighttime. Still, bad luck for Hawaii.
While the Sun is known to vary slightly in luminosity over an 11-year cycle, the long-term effects of entirely deactivating our parent star for 3 minutes are unknown and unexplored, as the temporary total deactivation of a star is totally unprecedented in astronomical science.
It can be conjectured that without the supporting pressure of internal fusion the Sun's layers will most likely collapse inwards under gravitational attraction until one of two things happens - either it becomes a neutron star, or we switch it back on again and normal operation is resumed. This raises the additional questions of whether switching the Sun back on after it has collapsed too far (say, fifteen minutes) would cause a supernova to occur, and what (if anything) would happen if we attempted to reactivate nuclear fusion processes in a neutron star.
Moderating the amount of heat reaching the Earth by this method is specifically forbidden in the Sun's user manual, and voids the warranty.
Conclusion
Clearly the major issue arising from the proposal not whether we should go ahead with it (we should) or even when (as soon as possible) but where and who. Specifically, where should the Switch be built? And who should be permitted access to it?
Once these admittedly knotty issues are resolved, however, the hard part is over with; all we need to do is persuade every nation of the world to cooperate and global warming is as good as ended!

Pi

2007-03-14T12:46:00.000-07:00

Happy Pi day March 14...03.14...

Random thoughts on a slow day

2007-03-13T16:29:00.000-07:00

I don't really have anything all that wonderful to say here today , just a few odds and ends. Most of which are the result of the fact that I have been babysitting my little daughter Daisy today while Shanzi, Hailee, and Grandma Sandy went to meet with our lawyers, meaning that I have had Cnn on all day and well that kind of news flood is always fuel for the blog slanted.

In any case; as I said no big wonking whatevers here, just a few thoughts, musings and rambles...

1.Isn't it ironic that in the midst of the Walter Reed scandal, Vice President Cheney makes headlines with the prompt, high quality treatment he received almost immediately after he noticed a problem with his leg? The working poor would not have had that option. So often easily treated conditions are left untreated until they become so dire that intervention--now more expensive--cannot be put off. Worse yet the messy, confusing net of red tape and apathy can be so overwhelming that health issues are left untreated until it is just too late for anything at all to be done. I experience this daily, well maybe not daily but A LOT. I can't tell you how difficult the constant battle for doctors appointments and medications really are. Due to a clerical error we were forced to rescheduel a "well baby" check up for my daughter and were told there would be no appointments available for two to three months, this after we had set an appointment not two days earlier for one of us with the same said doctor. A well baby exam takes 15-20 min.s TOPS but we were not allowed to even switch our adult appt. to be Daisy's (The more important one) due to massive red tape..."We can't do that ...we would have to cancle your appt. then it would be filled before all the paperwork could be set in motion...blah blah blah words words words".

2.Okay...get this...Iran is pissed about the movie 300. It's supposed to be a full on anti-persian propaganda film and part of a psycological "war" on Iranian culture....Excuse me ...er but WHAT? I mean I am not even sure what the Hell to make of this one . First off this action movie is about Spartan Greeks vs. pre-Islamic Persians/Iranians...With the Theocratic extremist Islamic goverment in Iran declaring everything "ifidelic" (is that a word...should be) and the work of Satan that falls out side the teachings of Muhammed...no, sorry their interpretation of the teachings of Muhammed I would think they wouldn't care about infidel killing infidel but who here in the west really knows what is going on in that sort of mind. I personaly just think they hate everything non them...hmmm that sounds familiar...

3.The TANF program is a wonking mess and nonsensical, I should know I'm on it and it gets wackier every month, it like so many of our welfare programs is more about appearing to help than actually taking the time to dig in and adress root causes and lend proper assitence it's all a bunch of checked boxes and passed paperwork that in the end declares "My work as a social worker is done here!" ...a pass the Buck what the fuck ...whooooo'ssss neeexxxt! philosiphy ...well there is a lot more to it all but well I don't feel like talking about it now....and don't even get me started on CASA. I am not going to make any blanket statments here but I know that org. gas a ship load of incompetent self rightious busy no-bodies and well hypocrits. ...crap, sorry I am not going down that road...not with out a lot of for thought and proof reading.

4.Anna Nicole was absolutly surrounded by they most awful sort of flakes riding the coat tails of a fabulous disaster. They were entertaining enough in a campy sort of way on the old Anna Nicole show, but in the face of current events it's just a sad mixture of self serving, boo hoo self promotion (I guess they wanted more than their fair 15 min.s) and Jerry Springerism.

5.I can't believe Mrs. Grantham married Mr. Yancey, Jeff and Seth are steprothers now and Cathy is a step sister. weird, Iam stunned, happy for them, but stunned none the less.

Bye for now

Close the Mexican border

2007-03-13T16:02:00.000-07:00

With George Bush traveling throughout Latin America and south of the Rio Grand I think now is the perfect time to build that wall between us and Mexico. What better time to seal our borders than when George W' s on the other side of them? ;)

California spanking law

2007-03-08T08:12:00.000-08:00

I don't know if you've heard about this, but its exactly the kind of news that compels perfectly sane people to throw their arms up in the air, bang their foreheads against brick walls, and devote the rest of their lives to eating raw cookie dough out of plastic tubs in the basement while watching Jessica Fletcher overturn police incompetence on the Biography Channel. And what the hell is "Murder, She Wrote" doing on the Biography Channel in the first place? But that diatribe is best left for another day.
Today's harangue concerns Democratic California Assemblywoman Sally Lieber and her plan to introduce a bill to the legislature ("hello bill," "hello legislature") that will make parental spanking a crime if the child is three years or younger, labeling it misdemeanor child abuse.
That's right, "spank your offspring, go to jail," is about to become law. "Neglect to stroke a pony, pay a fine" is on the docket for next year. And the "Polyester Banky Ban?" Still stuck in conference.
Now don't get me wrong, I understand Ms. Lieber's motivation. As a card carrying member of the Mommy Party, she is unable to control her insatiable urge to protect us from ourselves. And she's seriously anti- child abuse.
But then again, aren't we all? And that's a good thing. But come on. Do we really need a law here? Aren't most slaps to the bottom more of a Pavolovian response training exercise anyway?
Throw a tantrum, get a smack. Repeat until salivation occurs. Besides, unless its full, spanking a diaper is like dropping a dime on a pillow. And when full, its an exercise neither the spanker or spankee is likely to forget. Or more importantly, anxious to duplicate.
I'm curious as to exactly how the honorable Assemblywoman proposes parents discipline their darling nippers in the event they toss the toaster into the tropical fish tank.
Perhaps a squirt gun to the back of the head like you use to keep cats off of furniture? Or temporary exile to a terrarium upholstered in a fetching array of bubble wrap? Or replacing "Teletubbies" with tapes of the last season's "The Apprentice?" If Donald Trump doesn't constitute cruel and unusual, I don't know what does.
Mostly though, what worries me is misdemeanor rug rat abuse creep. How soon before the legislature is asked to outlaw stern looks, unseemly scents and substandard nose nuzzling? All very traumatizing to our miniature progeny.
Isn't the simple act of an adult walking past a crawling moppet sheer intimidation through sizism? Passing a toddler? Get down on all fours mister. And put that beer in a sippy cup. "A pacifier for all my friends." Not to mention the booming adult voice has to be a terrifying thing, so infractions of the decibel meter will be financially penalized via a complex geometric formula involving frequency and frequency.
Once you cross the cherub protection threshold, a gibberish translator to protect the little angel's fragile sense of self esteem, easily compromised by formalized language seems to be a logical leap. And picking up a wee bairn and thrusting them up towards the ceiling with extended arms or riding them on one's shoulders? Flagrant reinforcement of an overwhelming sense of powerlessness.
All I'm saying here is, its a slippery slope, Ms. Lieber. One that involves hunching way over and whispering and squirt guns and rampant sheep shearing and grown men sucking on nipples. And who wants that?

U.F.O. 's 2

2007-03-07T15:05:00.000-08:00

I read this earlier today on one of my favorite web sites, Phil Plaits bad astronomy.com. I thought I would reprint it here as it makes an excelent companion post to my U.F.O. post from much earlier in this blogs life.

Why I don’t “believe” in UFOs: the Phoenix Lights

Posted in Antiscience, Cool stuff, Science, Debunking, Skepticism, Rant on March 6th, 2007 at 6:59 PM
Is it possible that, one day, there will be a UFO story that makes me scratch my head and say, I cannot possibly conceive of an explanation for that besides an alien spacecraft?
Maybe. But that day is not yet here. In fact, given stories like this one, it’s a long, long way off.
Ever heard of the Phoenix Lights? 10 years ago, on March 13, 1997, a string of mysterious lights were seen hovering over Phoenix, Arizona. They were witnessed by a lot of people– Phoenix is a big town. For once, a UFO sighting was well-documented with lots of witnesses spaced out geographically, and with actual imagery and footage. Here’s a still from one amateur video: NOTE- photo still actually apears at the top of this entry.

This was big news. When I saw them, my first thought was, "Hey airplanes!" But I am a foolish NASA stooge planted by the CIA to brainwash the sheeple and keep under wraps THE BIGGEST STORY OF ALL TIME.
Or, maybe, they were, y’know, airplanes.
In fact, they were. Kinda. There was a practice flight going on at a nearby military air base. The squadron flying was dropping flares. The flares had little parachutes on them, so from a distance you’d see — GASP — a line of lights moving very slowly.
I saw a TV show where they proved beyond a doubt that’s what these things were. Video footage shot at night showed the lights disappearing one by one. Were they warping away, entering another dimension, or teleporting to some distant star?
No, they were falling behind a nearby mountain range. In the show I saw — a very rare skeptical look at UFOs — they went back to the location the person was shooting the video from, and took more pictures. When they superposed the video with their own pictures shot during the day, you could clearly see the line of mountains in the distance. When a light — sorry, "Light" — blinked out, you could plainly see it was falling below the top of the mountain. In other words, the flares were on the other side of that range as seen in the video, and when one got low enough, the mountain blocked the view. Wink! The light was gone.
I also saw (I think on the same show) a kid saying he was looking at the lights through binoculars or a telescope, and he saw that they were planes. But then someone else said (paraphrased) "Those weren’t planes! I know what I saw!" How many times have we heard that?
Sigh.
Well, now we also have one more nail in this coffin: a statement by one of the pilots who dropped the flares.
The lights were flares, said the Air National Guard, dropped during nighttime exercises at the Barry M. Goldwater Range.
That’s what they were, insists Lt. Col. Ed Jones, who piloted one of the four A10s in the squadron that he says launched the flares.
Jones, in his first interview with the news media concerning the night 10 years ago, says he can’t believe a decision to eject a few leftover flares turned into a UFO furor that continues to this day.
Lt. Col. Jones obviously doesn’t understand just how much people want to believe in UFOs. Faced with overwhelming evidence — even at the time, ten years ago — that these were flares, people still won’t wake up and see that’s precisely what these things were.
I absolutely 100% guarantee that when this story goes to UFO bulletin boards, people will claim that Lt. Cmdr. Jones is a) a disinfo agent, b) a government plant, or c) brainwashed. That’s a no-brainer.
Like Roswell, like Gulf Breeze, like a recent sighting of UFOs over London, and like a hundred — a thousand — other obviously mundane stories blown up into gigantic conspiracy theories, the Phoenix Lights will live on. And a little piece of the collective human intelligence starves to death.
Tip o’ the tin foil hat to James Oberg
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"…well, that and California, Florida, Arizona, New Mexico, Utah ..."

2007-03-05T08:19:00.000-08:00

This is from the text of one of those really annoying"flag waving" e-mails that get passed around by the same people who send out those insipid christian morality tales and antocedendents that are trying there best to put an "O'Henry type twist on some moronic story of holy irony or redeption:
" When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of empire building by George Bush.
He answered by saying that, "Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return." -- widely circulated e-mail.

"…well, that and California, Florida, Arizona, Texas, New Mexico, Utah ..."

Self-mutilation is not the only facet of my complex personality

2007-03-01T13:58:00.000-08:00

When I encounter people on the street the market place or in the workplace, the first thing they notice, I'm convinced, are the self-inflicted burns and scars on my forearms. Sure, I can see how it might seem at first glance, like I devote all my time to burning and branding my flesh. Nothing could be further from the truth.
For starters, I love to read. Be it fiction, non-fiction, health pamphlets warning against the dangers of self mutilation-I'll read just about anything I can get my hands on. I guess I just have an over the top, addictive personality! Because once I pick up a book or anything hot, you practically have to sedate me with thorazine to put it down! It's hard to explain, but the pleasure I get from books goes much deeper than just words on a page. I love the way a book feels in my hand. The familiar smell of the paper and ink. Also the I enjoy the way a single page feels when held firmly between the index finger and thumb while being pulled sharply against the flesh and can create a deeply satisfying cut.
I also adore cooking and make my living as a sous chef. After a long day there is nothing I look forward to more than rolling up my sleeves, grabbing a sharp chefs knife and slicing…slicing…slicing some …vegetables…yes vegetables for a stir fry. Maybe it's the fragrant aroma of fresh herbs and spices sizzling in the pan that calms the spirit and sooths the pains of the day away. There is nothing so calming as the sound and smell of raw meat hitting a blazingly hot sauté pan.
That reminds me of another favorite pastime; gardening! For me gardening is just like therapy except that with gardening I am usually alone so no one is there to ask me why I have branded "Help Me" into my arm.
Another thing you might never guess about me is that I am learning to sew! Sure it was frustrating at first and yes there were a few times when I got frustrated with my lack of progress and responded by jabbing the needle repeatedly into my thigh, but after a while I started to get the hang of it. Man it was worth it too. Now I don't have to go to the tailor everytime I need one of my shirt/coat buttons replaced, or to the hospital every time I need stitches!

New

2007-01-24T16:32:00.000-08:00

December remembers

2006-12-02T15:21:00.000-08:00

Well it's almost the year mark for this blog. It's a long strange trip indeed . Still with me?

Daisy Baby Pictures

2006-10-11T15:15:00.000-07:00

Baby Daisy

2006-10-08T18:52:00.000-07:00

Daisy Sarah Sofia Stone joined us Saturday October 7 at 2:05 7lbs 7oz's Healthy happy and beautiful

Who Knew ?

2006-09-24T22:34:00.000-07:00

Found this on WXI's web site other day...All I can say is "Well Duh"

Reported By: Jaye Watson
Web Editor: Tracey Christensen
Last Modified: 7/8/2006 3:15:06 PM

A new book slated for release this fall is setting off a firestorm in Metro Atlanta. The book entitled "The Absolutely Worst Places to Live in America" names Atlanta, College Park, Douglasville and Hinesville among the bottom of the list.

The author, Dave Gilmartin, said people may refer to the city as "Hotlanta" but he calls it a pseudo McCity. However, Gilmartin said Atlanta is paradise compared to Douglasville.

Douglasville Mayor Mickey Thompson read the ridicule about his town. "It was a total surprise," Thompson said. In his criticism, Gilmartin said Douglasville might as well be called "Hee Haw Town, USA" and that it's always been a simple slow-paced place for rednecks and hillbillies.

"Actually it is a slow-paced place. However, we consider that a plus, and as far as rednecks yeah, we have some, but we have business people, people from all over the world moving in," said resident Sue Roberts.

The book is supposed to be a humorous travel guide but sometimes it's hard to laugh when you're the one being singled out unfavorably and, Mayor Thompson believes, unfairly.

"Douglasville has been one of the fastest-growing cities in the state of Georgia with a population of more than 25,000 for a number of years," the mayor said.

Gilmartin also criticized Hinesville as the sort of town everyone talks about moving away from. He called College Park "a realm of crime, razed buildings and televangelists currently in the midst of a transition from community to runway."

The citizens and officials there are not amused.

"I think this is a great city next door to the busiest airport in the world. We have a tremendous amount of development going on in our community," said College Park city manager William Johnson.

Some College Park residents would like to know how Gilmartin picked their city to pick on. Several calls placed to Gilmartin's publisher were not returned to 11Alive News.

I like the part about the hillbillies...

Epitaph

2006-09-23T15:13:00.000-07:00

My brother called me this afternoon and informed me that Steven, his best friend had suffered a tragedy. Stevens's youngest child, a boy three years of age named Caleb, was killed today. He was struck down when he ran in front of a moving ice cream truck.

I have no words of either of sardonic commentary or poetic grief to say. I have stared at this goddamn screen for over an hour searching for such and have found none. All I have to offer are my pointless tears.

I have known Steven since he was two and I watched him grow up with my baby brother and indeed I hold him very near a younger brother to my own heart. What else can be said? I grieve though no doubt it is nothing to pain Steven and his family have had thrust upon them. My brother too…They all witnessed the horror right before their eyes…I can imagine nothing more awful.

The world burns with these little obscenities. Maybe the more of us in the world that know of them can lessen the weight of the burden carried by the few who suffer them directly. I doubt this is true but what else is left to comfort us?

The only thing I can say is that I wish with all my heart this didn't happen. To be more detailed I suppose I should say I wish this had not happened to little Caleb, Stevens family and Kevin. That is an awful, vain and selfish wish true. Pain makes us so to a small degree. What makes us Human is overcoming such vain wishes . . . To at one time wish such a tragedy had not befallen one of our own and at the same time not to wish it on any other. In the end we all are human and everyone else is our own. Ones grief is grief to all of us. Empathy for another and the ability to care raise us above the savage within. I hope any wondering eye that finds this trite little passage will take a moment no matter how brief and grieve for Steven, Stevens family and friends, Kevin and above all for innocent little Caleb.

Peace to all.

Prof Reading is for Sissys

2006-08-16T06:13:00.000-07:00

Man, I should really Proof read more...I mke some dumb mistakes...see

Medicare and Tax Cuts Nuts (My new third testicle)

2006-08-16T05:23:00.000-07:00

Tax Cuts

The American people love tax cuts. That was the Republican reasoning for trying to gut Medicare to the tune of $268 billion and offset it with tax cuts in 2000 and more since (I don't have the numbers on all that handy and I doubt I'll bother to post them later)

Everytime I go to the drug store to TRY and fill my prescriptions I am reminded of how badly the republicans have slashed Medicare and how they squashed, back in the 90's, what every other civilized 1st world (?) country has…National Health Care.

Tax cut after tax cut has been made in the programs I as a member of the WORKING POOR depend on namely Medicare. I depend on it for my health, sanity and possibly my life. This where I want my few little bitty tax dollars to go to.

"The American people want tax cuts." Well, let's catalogue more things the American people want.

The American people want drive through nickel beer night.

The American people want to lose weight by eating sour cream and onion potato chips.

The American people want to clip Get Out Of Jail Free coupons from the Sunday Comics section.

The American people would chew off their own foot if Jerry Springer told them there was a liquid gold in their ankle veins.

20 percent of the American people didn't understand the question so much they thought Ross Perot was the answer at one time.

The American people think Bruce Willis can actually dodge bullets.

The American people love the Home Shopping Network because its commercial free.

68 percent of the American people still believe Professional Wrestling is legitimate.

60 percent of the American S.U.V.s during a fuel "Crisis" (It ain't a shortage folks it's a "Crisis")

98 recent of S.U.V. drivers have never have been more than 1/4 mile "Off road"

In America Bankers not Bikers now ride Harley Davison Motor Cycles

A huge chunk of Americans don't realize Larry the cable Guy is a Character actor making fun of them in a deeply sardonic fashion. Come on folks this is Ernest all over again. Please, please don't "Gitt-er Done"

Ugh. Meanwhile I still have to wait a year and a half on my waiting list for a primary care physician to talk to him/her about my new third testicle.

Cut this. bleh

Republican Follies

2006-08-16T04:55:00.000-07:00

What a surprise. Republicans feverishly exploiting their echo chamber to pound out the familiar drum beat that Democrats are weenie girly men who can't be trusted to keep their frilly underwear unsoiled much less protect this country from terrorists. I wonder if they aren’t right about that sometimes but I sure as shnookie don't trust the republicans to do anything other than ipiss me off anymore.

GOP mole Joseph Lieberman, I feel so betrayed, parroted the same P.O.S. cross party line when he nasally whined that Ned Lamont's win over him was a victory for the kind of people involved in the British Pakistani airline bomb plot. Geeze as Archie Bunker might say. One talking head I saw on Fox News called Democrats "the Al Qaeda Party, truly un biased reporting…come on." And in response, Democrats have vowed to mount a vigorous defense. Soon. Maybe. Once they rinse out their underwear
.
What is wrong with these guys? They got to get out there. NOW. No. Now is too late. They got to build a time machine. Go back to Friday the 11th. Issue pre dated press releases. And drag everyone along with them. Dig up a couple of dead three initialed Democrats like JFK and FDR and LBJ from the days when the Blue party had balls…isn't there a "Blue ball" joke there somewhere?..Anyone? Bueller? Do whatever it takes to keep the GOP from locking them into the sissy box. AGAIN. Get Al Gore to put together a Powerpoint Presentation to display exactly which party is at fault for America being less safe now. And convince him to regrow his beard.

Its time to fight back. Time to start slamming Bush and his toadies for diverting the money for research and toher none oil driven programs to screen for liquid bombs to fight a war against the wrong people. We got to remember 60% of us aren't happy about INVADING THE WRONG COUNTRY. And its time to lambast the whole do-nothing Beltway for not implementing the 9/11 Commission's recommendations on airport security. Not to mention the futility of busting passengers for possession of toothpaste.
With only a few weeks left before the mid terms, they got to trot out their history of proposing security legislation that the Congressional majority routinely scuttled. Have every single Democratic Congressman go out and tell those same silly people who still believe Iraq possessed Weapons of Mass Destruction why the reason we don't have bomb detection technology for this sort of thing is because Bush wasted all our money on his rich buddies. Is Paris Hilton ( I just can't leave her alone can I) going to buy DC's Dulles Airport a liquid bomb scanner? I don't think so. I doubt if she can spell "DC."

Point out that we still haven't caught the six foot seven inch Arabian guy traipsing around the Khyber Pass dragging behind him a solar powered kidney dialysis machine from the Islamabad Sharper Image catalogue. Though Cheney did nail that six foot lawyer cleverly disguised as a rabbit…good shooting Dick

Point out that Mr. Bush has created more terrorists than he's killed with an emphasis on how odd it is that nobody in this Mickey Mouse administration is familiar with "The Sorcerer's Apprentice."
And then have our bravest, most charismatic Congressman (from the safest district in the country) reel off all of the Democratic plans to secure our borders that have been trashed by Bush's Congress and hoist these squeezebags on their own petard by warning Americans that "Every vote for a Republican is a vote for another 9/11." Maybe Sam Nunn. And when they come at him with teeth bared waving sharpened flag poles, and they will, just blow up the paragraph from the Washington Times where Tony Snow and Dick Cheney and Joe Lieberman said the same damn thing in reverse. And still brace yourselves for an October ad campaign featuring Hillary Clinton in a burka.

Damn, I hate insomnia.

Ghost Story

2006-08-16T02:16:00.000-07:00

Poop. It's 2:17am and I just woke up from a terrible nightmare about ghost, rutabagas and tomato puree. Yes I know, but the point is it's got me up when I wanted to be down. I have a full day ahead of things I'd rather not do tomorrow starting way to early for me to take any more sleep meds in my futile attempts to sleep this restless night so why not write. Besides mood group in the morning I have to meet with AFS and that is just buckets of smiling fun. Hurrah!
The ludicrous dream (what dreams aren’t?) also got me thinking about ghost, not a usual topic for me to waste brain waves on. I don't believe in them, not real ones as they are normally defined. I think people see them all the time I just don't believe they are really seeing anything real is all. I think the ghost we experience come from ourselves from our own minds and have nothing to do with physical reality. Some of us realize this and make little to do about any "spooky" encounters. To illustrate this a little better I've decided to write about my own and only serious "ghost story". Before I start let me make clear …I don't believe I experienced a haunting but that doesn't make what I did experience any less terrifying …I was scared shitless…only my FIRM belief in the fact that there is NO AFTERLIFE of any kind held my shattered (At the time) mind together.
A year to the month after my Mothers death I found myself staying in what was her house but had become my brothers following her death. The rape that was my divorce was in full swing and I was as loony as one can be and still dress yourself. I had just exited a six week stay in a mental hospital for a combination of absurd behavior, binge drinking and a serious suicide attempt. At said hospital I was placed on a regime of some heavy duty medication and told be a good boy as I left. I stuck to that cocktail of psychotropic drugs for about three weeks before I added my own chemical of choice (Booze) to the mix. I didn't drink anywhere near as much as I had prior or near as much as everyone assumed, hell, didn't have to The combination of even mild quantities of alcohol and my meds came together like Nagasaki and Oppenheimer. I knew I shouldn't mix them but at the time I cared little if I lived or died, I simply wanted the pain o go away and well alone the meds can't make that happen plus once mixed your decision making abilities drop remarkably.
I dropped off the wagon about the same time as I started staying with Kevin at Moms old place in fact when I "dropped off the wagon" I was also dropped off on his door step.
It was the spring of 2003, March.
To put it bluntly I started hallucinating. I have never really ever done that before in my life. I never have taken anything that would cause that, with my nightmarish imagination I would simply be afraid too. That simple fact has always kept my curiosity in steady check. I have a highly addictive personality but I do know what I like and what I don't. Never have held with mind altering drugs, still don't. I am too much of a control freak. Booze, of course does diminish ones control but it also creates an illusion of power and control…fictitious though it may be. I digress.
On the first night of my short stay with Kevin something very odd happened. Kevin's room is at the end of a long hall leading out from the living room where I slept. After we had all retired for the night I heard faint music coming from the end of the hall. Probably just Kevin listening to the radio to go to sleep, lots of people do it, I don't but so what. I thought nothing of it. The next night the routine was exactly the same except when I got up to go to the bathroom (Midpoint between the bedroom and the living room) I noted that the music was on when I went in and off when I left...until I got back to the living room. There I could hear it ever so faintly. This struck me as odd and more than little creepy but I thought it was just me not paying attention when I exited the bathroom or maybe there had been a lull in the music. Was it music? It occurred to me that I couldn't really make out what the sound really was therefore maybe that was why it was playing wacky shiz nuts with my mind …I listen close. It was music and not just that it was Billy Holiday music. Well now that was weird, Kevin can't stand old jazz. Jazz is my music! Still, it wasn't anything other than a surprise at what Kevin was listening to to sleep. Maybe he liked to "bore" himself into slumber-land…it could happen. At this point I still did not perceive anything truly bizarre. It should be noted that I did test what I could hear that night a bit and noted that it almost seemed this already soft music got softer then finally a mere hiss as I got closer to the bedroom plus it was al Billy Holiday. I should also note on these first two nights I was only on my meds and no alcohol. I think that's important.
I questioned Kevin about it the next day and not only did he deny venomently he wasn't listen to B.H. but in fact was listening to nothing at all. He, like myself, found it difficult to fall asleep to music and never did it…too distracting. I was sure he was fibbing but let the matter go.
That night the music came again and now I was a bit spooked I am sparing a lot of detail here but I went down the hall several times and by the time I at the bathroom there was no sound but the rustle of the trees outside. In fact it would stay away after each investigation until I became distracted by my reading then it would return. However as soon as I noted it and rose to investigate it would disintegrate into silence. In my frustration and fear I became angry and went into the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge. The moment I cracked it open two things happened at once. First I heard my mothers voice call my name clear as a bell in my ear and I felt a hand on my cheek. I was so startled I screamed and dropped the beer. I t was over. No sound no anything, just crickets and the lonely wind. I was very shaken. I'll bet I stood there for fifteen minutes if it was an hour listening and watching.
As no sound came I downed what remained of my beer and took two more sleeping pills and then I put on a Billy Holiday CD and went to bed.
I drilled Kevin again the next day but his answer remained adamant. No radio, no TV no CD's. I didn't tell him about the voice, I knew it would sound crazy.
That night I heard once again the now eerie sound of Billy Holiday from down the hall but choose to ignore it. I took my pills and went to bed as I fell into that half wake half sleep realm of partial dreams I was started awake by the voice of my ex-wife (Joy) calling my name and when I sat up on the couch as the voice faded I heard the music very loud, very clear and very terrifyingly real.
I was able to drown it out with the TV and I stayed up the entire night and next morning doing so. Around 1pm I fell asleep Thanks to a healthy amount of booze and sleeping pills. Several times before I got the volume right I heard horse whispers that reminded me of my mothers speech right before her death when the cancer had basically consumed her. I also heard a chorus of crying, it was soft and made up of several voices but I heard it.
When I awoke it was late evening and Kevin was gone. I think he was off with his band and I didn't figure I would see him again until the wee hours so I decided to look through his room to find the culprit radio. I had a theory…some where at the back of the house was a clock radio going off at a soft volume .One soft enough not to wake Kevin but just loud enough for me to hear. It was positioned in such a way that I couldn't hear it well from the end of the hall but could just make out its sound in the living room (The only room I ever heard it in) acoustics are very weird…it could happen. If the music returned I would uncover this foolishness
The music came shortly after dark. Kevin was not home so I took off slowly down the hall. As I approached the door to his bedroom (Moms old room) it faded as I expected. I open the door and rapidly switched on the light, which promptly blew out. After I recovered from THIS mild startle I cut on the bedside lamp which was sufficiently bright to illuminate the room well.
I found nothing, absolutely nothing. Kevin didn't even have a radio of ANY kind in his bedroom. His alarm was one of those old fashioned bell ones and clearly not the source. Also the room was as silent as a grave (Pardon the pun).
As I shut the door leaving I heard my name again. Clear as the time by the fridge and felt, once again, a hand now on my shoulder. I didn't scream this time but I went stone cold. I marched down the hall but this time it didn't end there. I heard "things" all the way down the hall always to my sides or rear. Voices, car horns, mumbles, barking and crying. Some of the voices I recognized some I did not. I did start to scream and when I did all fell silent.
The next few hours where uneventful but that changed. I began to hear things, as I did in the hall but not with such veracity. They noises were coming in short, very short burst and as individual isolated sounds rather than all at once.
They Billy Holiday music softly played on but no longer filled me with the same fear now that I had heard the other sounds, hell it was kind of pleasant and comforting.
Some new sounds entered my nightmare around midnight (How appropriate eh?). Knockings on the door (No one there of course) and scratching on the windows other less identifiable sounds. I was in a near panic but it was far from over. By turning up both the radio and TV in conjunction with talking loudly to my self ("I am not hearing this and you guys had best split cause I know you ain't real motherfuckers" etc…) I was able to basically tune out the persistent audio hallucinations but I still could hear them slightly over the wall of sound I had created as a shield. To be honest I thought I had taken the final plunge into true deep insanity.
I also at that point started to "see things". Outside one of the front windows I saw someone staring in at me through the blinds when I open the door to confront my fears the "person" was gone…I never saw the image clearly but I saw something (In my wrecked mind at least). Several times while looking out the window I saw people in the trees and around my car about ten meters away from the house. When I went outside there was of course nothing but when I looked back up at the house I could make out the silhouette of some one sitting inside through the blinds. I almost didn't go back in but considering what I was experiencing I was afraid to drive away. I went back in. …You guessed it …no one home but the invisible and shy Billy Holiday fan at the back of the house.
This went on all night and as the sun rose it all but faded (Billy Holiday too) except for the occasional voice. However the voices I heard in the morning were cut short …just brief burst of loud but incomplete words. It all finally stopped around 11 am or so when Kevin returned. I didn't tell him the tale of my hell night (until very recently) I just went to bed, finally able to sleep at that point because I could hear HIM knocking around the house instead of the bizarre shit I had been hearing knocking around in my head.
I didn't sleep long however, I got up and made arrangements to move in with an old buddy that very afternoon. I have never had anything of the like happen again. Not a peep. That week scared the hell out of me but I know it was not real. If I was not so disinclined to believe in the supernatural I would swear I was haunted that night. But I am not a believer.
I mixed my meds with booze a few times after that to bad ends but never again did I have any such hallucinatory results (That is something It took me a while to learn not to do). So what was the X factor at Moms?
No spooks so what made the difference.
Psychological stress.
Booze + Meds + Moms House divorce + anniversary of Moms death +sleep depravation + guilt + massive imagination + traumatic stress t= Massive hallucinatory Effect. That week, that time, that place all came together in a very bad way. It wasn't a haunting no one but me ever experienced any thing weird there especially Kevin and he slept in Mothers old bed for Pete's sake …if anyone was supposed to see ghost it was Kevin.
It was so real to me then. However even as it was occurring I knew it was a psychological event not a paranormal one. Only because my faith in science and pragmatic reason is strong was I able to understand this. If I did believe in the afterlife, god or any sort of supernatural "anything" I would have sworn I was in a ghost story. All the circumstances and events were right. That statement leaves out an important factor one that goes beyond the idiocy of mixing mood medication and alcohol. Those factors made my mind weak and off balance add in the trauma affecting me (most likely) from being in not just in the house of my dead mother but the one in which I witnessed cancer consume her body and mind and you have the answer.
While nothing like that has ever since occurred and I no longer mix meds and booze I still get a little gun shy when I hear odd sounds so far the are sounds everyone else can hear too but I always ask just in case.
Life goes on… "scared but smarter"

Me andShazi...sometimes Puff and no Huff

2006-08-14T16:27:00.000-07:00

This Pearls before Swine could be us a few too many times, lol. Puff no Huff

The fun of Manic Days

2006-08-14T15:29:00.000-07:00

Thiese are some unfinished thoughts that I was working on to make into blog post but for one reason or another I just didn't…until now. Here you go…

If Mr. Tally Man tallies my bananas
Can I sue his ass for sexual harassment?

This post brought to you by the letter Q and the number 9

I am not obsessive why do think I am obsessive? Who told you I was obsessive. Why would you think I'm obsessive?
Seven things you can't say on MSN:
Macintosh, Apple, Smart Links Packaging Fraud But Then when would you use this one? Netscape, Netescape, Internet Explorer Uninstaller: abbreviated or not Opera, Firefox, AOL, America On Someone Other Than Bill Gate's Line Toupee, Hair Piece, Who's Your Daddy? Donald Trump Yale, IE 8: Yawn Penis
Twelve Fun Things To Say In a community college Chemistry Lab
1. So I shouldn't have filled the Bunsen Burner with gasoline?
2. Sir I just spilt something brown that bubbles on something red that doesn't. Did anyone misplace their Pepsi and Punch?
3. My lab partner and I will now attempt to make a test tube baby.
4. Give me the safety goggles and stand back, last time I did this the Dow Chemical company had to donate a new building.
5. That was a Hydrogen balloon you just sucked in you idiot.
6. Professor the contents just turned purple. Congratulations dad.
7. Sir, my lab partner's thermos is bubbling.
8. Professor, w accidentally, drenched the dry ice... Everyone watch for Zombie extras.
9. Explosion is a relative term.
10. Don't touch my beaker... I'm using it to test a vaccine for the bird flu
11. This same experiment got me kicked out of Devry.
Seven Ways To Get Kicked Out Of The Petting Zoo
1. Explain you just watched Gorillas in the Mist. So you'll need a sleeping bag and a note book.
2. Show up with a box of stuffing and ask for directions to the turkeys.
3. Build a barbecue pit.
4. Ask which birds feathers are best used to stuff a pillow.
5. Throw Easter Eggs at the bunny exhibit as you yell, "Thanks for missing our house again Peter Cotton Tail, you thoughtless prick."
6. Run like hell for the exit while claiming the Emu's have just predicted a massive quake.
7. Where a Davey Crockett hat. Tell the kids it use to be one of the zoo's ferrets.
8. Come dressed as Little Bo Peep looking for your sheep. If you're a guy and you try this, don't call me when you get locked up for acting psychotic.
9. Play Duck, Duck, Goose with real ducks.
10. Warn zoo goers that the pond has piranhas and anyone who wants to go skinny dipping needs to wear cup.
11. If the monkey's throw their shit at you, throw yours back at them.
12. Bring a rubber glove. Test the sheep for testicular cancer.
13. Read this blog out loud.
14. Read this blog out loud while testing the sheep for testicular cancer.
Congress Wants To Take Tips Off The Table
The gist of the idea is make tips a part of minimum wage. That way anyone who employs someone in the service industry could pay less than minimum wage. Here are some other things Congress might want to consider if they really think this is a good idea:
1. Beat your local waitress with a stick..
2. Put that waitress's kids on your barrel-o-pork eating salaries.
3. Force the venue that they work to pay them with chicken wings booze. Think of how that would make you more popular with the KFC and Budweiser lobby. Plus drunk people tend to vote Republican.
4. Make the decision to work in the service industry a mandatory 1st strike felony for stupidity.
5. Adopt a waitress and her family through Sally Struthers. Imagine, for only 50 cents a day, you can help feed the American Dream.
6. Start a foreign exchange for waitresses in Iraq. Jobs tend to pay better when you might loose a limb by serving a customer tea and cake.
7. Eliminate Congressional pay all together in favor of minimum wage plus tips. We as Americans will pay Congress a set rate plus a certain amount of tips based on how good we think you're doing. As popular as George Bush is right now, he could retire and by a beach house in Missouri.
8. Remodel the Statue of Liberty so that its flipping off incoming immigrants. That way they'll know: the American Dream. is reserved for those who can already afford it. It'll also serve as an I told you so, as they declare This ain't working and leave.

Rant Ramble and Repeat

2006-08-14T13:26:00.000-07:00

Rant Ramble and Repeat
I rant, I ramble and quite often repeat…thus the name of my blog. I in fact very frequently (What's the Frequency Kenneth?) carry on like a chicken with it's bus pass taken away.I was compared at one point by my brother ,the aspiring rockstar, to various "Ranting comedians" because of the rambling nature of what I write, the anger involved, the cursing, my use of self effacing irony and of course the humor that occasionally pops up in my compositions. While I appreciate the comparison as a compliment I don't think it really fits. I am more of a rambler than a ranter and honestly I am usually not all that funny (When I am though I'm hilarious…trust me).
As for some of those other things, well I suppose they do fit except with that ever hard to define thing known as Irony. Irony however is hard to define and even harder to use effectively …just ask Alanis Morrsett (However the hell she spells it…I don't care). I may be a little late in the making fun of her game but remember she really brought any criticism she still brings on herself by setting up herself with that dumbass song misusing the term not once but repeatedly through out the entire painful number.
Alanis "Moronissette" wouldn’t know real irony if it sat on her… which, ironically, it has. And Avril Leninny knows squat-nothing about complicated relationships. And moving on to comedians famous for their "rants" would somebody tell Dennis Menace that REAL rants NEVER contain references to Mesopotamian historical figures, quotes from Shakespeare and “Threes Company”, White House talking points, the words “who wants pie” and insufferable smugness? You see, THIS is not a rant either. It has form, substance and humor and does not have 25% foul language (minimum requirement), unprovable conspiracy theories and more than three consecutive words IN UPPER CASE. It does not have adequate anger to be a true rant (I am very very rarely driven to such a high level of anger, and Mr. Miller is such an admitted bad actor that he wouldn’t be able to show believable anger if something ripped his leg off). Though in fairness to rant form it does start entirely too many sentences with "And…" So this is not a rant… What this IS is a humorous ramble. What Miller does is also humorous (and sometimes failing to be humorous) rambling at an relatively high speed (most useful in getting past those parts that fail to be humorous - that’s what made him popular for about 15-18 minutes). Most ‘Ranting’ comedians really are not. George Carlin did not start out ranting; even his most profane earlier pieces were not rants. He started doing some ranting in 1988 (the “What Am I doing in New Jersey” show) and has yet to reach more than 28% ranting in performance. And then there’s ‘attitude’, formerly known as ‘bad attitude’ until it was recently discovered that the word just never refers to ‘good attitude’ anymore. “Attitude” in the bizarro world of comedy is merely a euphemism for obnoxiousness or sometimes offensiveness (although “Political Incorrectness” is the preferred substitute for the latter). A comedian with “attitude” is entertaining to watch, but would be total agony to take on a long car trip. And even when you are willing to ask for directions because you’re really really lost, the ‘attitude comic’ will never allow you to. Trust me on this. Speaking of very very lost, what was I talking about? Irony? Uh… who wants pie?
Damn

Athens Memories...again

2006-08-14T03:08:00.000-07:00

Just some old pics from Athens

If you are not concerned , you are not informed

2006-08-14T02:57:00.000-07:00

Speaking of his new appointment to head up the Central Intelligence Agency, President George Bush called four star General Michael Hayden, "the right man to lead the CIA at this critical moment in our nation's history."
Let's hope Hayden isn't too much of a student of history. Otherwise, he might read the President's statements about Porter Goss, the man whose position he is filling, when Goss was appointed to head the CIA 20 months ago: "He's the right man to lead the CIA at this critical moment in our nation's history."
Or perhaps Hayden has been assured that of all the right men, he's the rightest man for the job. And you can take that any which way you want.
Uncanny how Bush was able to find these two right men for the CIA at these various critical moments in our nation's history. Have you noticed that every point in time for this guy is a critical moment in our nation's history? He even claims to have special powers because of this critical moment in our nation's history. Apparently, mixing up the script is not one of them. But I'll tell you why every point in time in his administration is a critical moment in our nation's history: it's not the terrorists, it's not the price of gas, it's not the illegal immigrants or the domestic spying, it's because he's the president. That's why.
George W. Bush possesses the unique ability of turning naptime at a pre-school into a critical moment in our nation's history. Because even attention deficit five-year-olds are bright enough to toss and turn on pins and needles, dreading whatever blunder President Fossil Fuels has up his sleeve for the future. Have you ever smelled a classroom full of interiorly stained GrrAnimals? Ooooh. Not a good thing. Neither is Sponge Bob Squarepants geting the contact shakes. And let's get real here: turning the CIA over to Pentagon authority is not the lullaby to lay these kids down to sleep. As far as soundtracks go, this is more Bernard Hermann from "Psycho!"
You want an example of putting the military in charge of intelligence? How 'bout the SS or the KGB? Besides the fact that the term "military intelligence" takes us deep into the heart of Oxymoronia, that mythical land in the Middle West where the Bush Presidency first sprouted its logic defying genetically modified seeds. Saying "military intelligence" is like requesting wireless cable. Or a Donald Rumsfeld mix tape. Or the Wall Street Journal Presents Dick Cheney's Executive Guide to Getting Along by Going Along.
Then again, with Bush's poll numbers descending into Nixonian if not Stalinistic sublevels, we can only surmise that each and every day, more and more Americans are able to acknowledge that piercing wake-up call telling them that George Bush is the wrong man to lead the country in this "critical moment in our nation's history."
And I predict our nationwide insomnia will reach its peak in November of '07, when a Democratically-controlled Congress convenes the first of a series of impeachment trials. Maybe we should embark on a national project to erect huge statues of the President all over the country, just for the cathartic release that will consume us when we attach wireless cables to tear them down.

If you are not concerned you are not informed…READ WATCH AND LISTEN

Service Industry Woe

2006-08-14T02:42:00.000-07:00

It's my duty as a patriotic American to send up this warning flare to the Republican Congress. Their very lives are in peril. THIS IS NOT A TEST! They have unknowingly stumbled into a dangerous situation that threatens them to a degree of which they are blissfully unaware. The fact that none of them will heed my advice saddens me a little, but not as much as it makes me giggle. I doubt any congressional embers read my blog anyway unless you count the staff of my local congressman whom I dutifully e-mail on a regular basis and I won't go into the responses I occasionally get for that effort.

Let me explain. The GOP-dominated Congress just barely missed pushing through a bogus minimum wage bill that also would have finally accomplished their thickheaded goal of eliminating the estate tax... making sure that Paris Hilton gets every damn penny she deserves. Well, perhaps that's imprecise phrasing. Sorry, I once promised to stop using her as my personal scratching post and return to the time honored practice of macking J Jacckson molestation jokes…guess I should let sleeping #@%$&'s lay
.
Anyway, that's not the scariest part. As part of the bill, the majority passed, on straight party lines, an amendment to the bill mandating a DROP in the minimum wage for workers that live in the seven states with a higher minimum wage for tipped employees, meaning in California, Wsahington and Oregon(Where I live) the pay for bartenders, waitresses, bellmen, and valets would have fallen from 6.75 an hour to 2.65. Those greedy bastards in the service industry will be asking for health care for their children next thing you know.

In other words, the minimum wage hike would have cut the yearly pay of tipped employees by about $9,600. Besides being more cynical than dyeing oval shaped rocks and passing them off as easter eggs to contestants in the Special Olympics, this situation would put thousands of Americans at risk. Especially members of our distinguished Congress.
Now, it goes without saying that these privileged lords and ladies have the same working relationship with the service industry that a giant cephalopod has with the gear ratio of Toyota Camry,(I don't get myself sometimes so if that seemed like a weird sentence , you are not alone) but my question is: are they out of their Mother @#*&^$!% minds? Do they harbor a secret death wish? What, exactly, is their long term plan, to never eat in a restaurant or drink in a bar or park their car again?
Back in the day(Yesterday), I was/am a member of the service industry (The boss of this blog don't pay shit), and remain eminently knowledgeable of how very very very long that journey between the kitchen and the table actually is. Many a twixt between cup and lip doesn't even begin to cover the circuitous trip that appetizers may be subject to. Quick and dirty detours are always available. What lies at the bottom of the murky depths of your soup? You don't want to know.
I'm not just talking about ptomaine and salmonella and e coli and Hepatitis C, I'm talking about foreign objects such as grated pencil shavings and excess saliva in the béarnaise sauce and baby poo in the mousse. How many of our distinguished representatives are prepared to wear diapers full time to guard against the surreptitious drop of Visine in their Vodka Cranberry? And good luck getting the bathroom attendant to hand you more paper. You might want to ask the Senator in the next stall for change for a five.

A Republican leader said the bill may be scuttled for now, but plans are to revisit it as soon as possible. Someone, please, for the sake of humanity, warn these simpletons that a minimum wage bill is supposed to RAISE the wages of our neediest. And they do not want to put themselves in jeopardy by even CONSIDERING such a regressive measure. I am only thinking of their welfare at this point. To root out every possible sabotage would be like picking out a pubic hair in a sprout sandwich or off the top of your coke. Does a dead fish under the passenger seat of your Town Car have any meaning here?

Has not one of these nimrods ever seen Upstairs Downstairs?

Well I have written myself into a corner here and so have to once again a nice little self-righteous rant as a dangling-chad…well at least this time I think I clearly made my point. Enjoy your dinner and tip your servers generously!

Some thoughts on Bush's dependence on Terror

2006-08-14T02:09:00.000-07:00

An evil symbiosis does exist between Muslim terrorists and American politicians, but it is not the one Republicans describe. The jihadists need George W. Bush to sustain their cause. His bloody crusade in the Middle East bolsters their accusation that America is out to destroy Islam. The president has unwittingly made himself the lead recruiter of willing young martyrs.
More to the point, it is equally true that Bush desperately needs the terrorists. They are his last frail hope for political survival. They divert public attention, at least momentarily, from his disastrous war in Iraq and his shameful abuses of the Constitution. The "news" of terror -- whether real or fantasized -- reduces American politics to its most primitive impulses, the realm of fear-and-smear where George Bush is at his best.
So, once again in the run-up to a national election, we are visited with alarming news. A monstrous plot, red alert, high drama playing on all channels and extreme measures taken to tighten security.
The White House men wear grave faces, but they cannot hide their delight. It's another chance for Bush to protect us from those aliens with funny names, another opportunity to accuse Democrats of aiding and abetting the enemy.
The early claim that a massive takedown of a dozen airliners was set for August 16 is "rubbish," according to London authorities. So who decided this case was ripe for its public rollout? Blair consulted Cheney: What did they decide? American economist Jamie Galbraith was on a ten-hour flight from Manchester, England, to Boston on the day the story broke, and has wittily reflected on other weak points in the official story line.
The point is, Americans are not entirely defenseless pawns. They can keep their wits and reserve judgment. They can voice loudly the skepticism that Bush and company have earned by politicizing of the so-called "war" from the very start. Leading Democrats are toughening up. Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid uses plain English to explain what the Republicans up to -- using genuine concerns of national security "as a political wedge issue. It is disgusting, but not surprising."

More Bi Polar Information

2006-08-13T18:03:00.000-07:00

This is an excert from an article I read this morning. I post it here for edification. I had some issues related to mis-diagnosis and some elements of this were used against me in curious ways (They continue to surface from time to time) prehapes with the honest attempt to do the right thing but there tose whose motives I question. Let education rule. Emotions fail.

Classic bipolar disorder (or Bipolar Disorder I) is characterized by episodes of mania and episodes of depression. In a manic state, a person may have extreme euphoria or optimism, to the point of impairing judgement. They may be hyperactive and stay up all night, talk and move extremely fast, have increased sexual drive and decreased inhibition. 75% of manic episodes include delusions of some sort (most often delusions of grandeur), one of the reasons why it is sometimes confused with schizophrenia. Untreated manic episodes can last for weeks or even months. Conversely, during a depressive episode, the same person can feel hopeless and personally worthless. They may lose interest in their normal activities (including sex), have very little energy or motivation, be unable to concentrate, and have disturbances in sleep and eating habits. Mania and depression do not necessarily follow one after the other; sometimes a person may experience a long symptom-free period before having another mood disturbance.

Bipolar Disorder II is characterized by episodes of milder depression and milder mania, called hypomania. A hypomanic episode is different from full mania in that it does not include psychotic symptoms (i.e. delusions) and it does not include symptoms that might be dangerous to the person or to others. Although it has it's own name, bipolar disorder II is reliably diagnosed less often than Bipolar I, and some experts question characterizing it as a milder version of the disorder (Source: "Bipolar Disorder." New England Journal of Medicine 2004:351:5:476-486).

A mixed episode is characterized by symptoms of both mania and depression occuring together (i.e. during the same day) for at least one week. A person experiencing a mixed episode might be very anxious and disorganized, unable to sleep or concentrate. In children, it can resemble Attention Deficit Disorder or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Mixed episodes are generally followed by depression, and occur most often in people under 25 or over 60 years of age.

Rapid cycling refers to someone experiencing four or more episodes of mania or depression within the period of one year. Rapid cycling may last a few years and then slow down into less frequent episodes; conversely, someone may develop rapid cycling well after being diagnosed with fewer episodes.

Diagnosis and Misdiagnosis - Some Conditions with Overlapping Symptoms

Bipolar and Schizophrenia - What's the Difference?
Bipolar disorder is one of the many brain diseases that shares symptoms with schizophrenia; this leads to mistaken diagnoses, especially in children. It's important to know that individuals with bipolar disorder, even those that display psychotic symptoms as a feature of their illness, never meet the full diagnostic criteria for schizophrenia. Someone with bipolar disorder is not always in either a manic or a depressive phase; he or she may have long periods during which they seem virtually symptom-free (does not have the disordered thinking, delusions, voices, or other symptoms that characterize schizophrenia). Likewise, any psychotic symptoms associated with bipolar disorder should occur within the context of a manic or a depressive state - delusions of grandeur and hallucinations may be either wildly optimistic and grandiose, or completely disastrous and guilt-ridden.

Schizo-affective disorder is a disease that does contain elements of both schizophrenia and bipolar - it can be described as "schizophrenia with a mood component." The major distinguishing difference between schizo-affective and bipolar with psychotic symptoms is that to be diagnosed schizoaffective, an individual must display the symptoms of schizophrenia (i.e. hallucinations, delusions, etc) without accompanying mood symptoms of mania or depression. In a diagnosis of bipolar, an individual may not always be symptomatic, but within an episode schizophrenia-like symptoms are in the context of mania or depression.

Bipolar and Psychosis - What's the Difference?
It is valuable to understand the difference between psychosis and bipolar disorder. Psychosis is a general term used to describe psychotic symptoms. Bipolar may include a kind of psychosis. Several different brain disorders can lead to psychotic symptoms, including lesions in the brain resulting from head traumas, strokes, tumors, infections or the use of illegal drugs. If a serious depression goes untreated for a long time psychotic symptoms may develop. These examples demonstrate that not all psychosis is schizophrenia. If is for this reason that doctors may take quite some time (6 months or more) to diagnose someone, because while the symptoms of bipolar disorder may be quite obvious - the fact that the symptoms are not being caused by some other brain disorder is frequently not obvious.

Bipolar and Depression - What's the Difference?
The main distinguishing diffference between bipolar disorder and major clinical depression is, of course, the presence of manic episodes. This is why depression alone is not enough to diagnose an individual with bipolar, even if this disease runs in the family. However, even one manic episode (meeting DMS-IV criteria) is sufficient to make a bipolar diagnosis. Distinguishing between these two illnesses makes a big impact on treatment choice; while depression is treated primarily with anti-depressant medication, someone with bipolar disorder needs a mood-stabilizing medication such as lithium or valproate. Taking anti-depressants with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder is a tricky business, because the medication can sometimes trigger a manic episode.

Ink, Wash and Watercolor

2006-08-13T16:33:00.000-07:00

Tamm

Complicated Grief in Bipolar Patients

2006-08-13T01:54:00.000-07:00

This article was also intresting:

Complicated Grief in Bipolar Patients
filed under Bipolar Disorder Symptoms & Diagnosis
Those with bipolar disorder commonly suffer from complicated or traumatic grief which only puts more of a burden upon them. "Although complicated grief is not yet a formal psychiatric diagnosis, there is growing consensus about its core elements, which include unrelenting grief persisting for 6 months or more after loss, with symptoms of separation distress, traumatic distress, and difficulty adapting to the loss" (PsychiatryMatters.MD).

The participants in the study were 120 individuals with bipolar disorder that were taking part in the Systematic Treatment Enhancement for Bipolar Disorder study. They found that 103 of them (86%) reported having a lifetime history of significant loss. 24.3% of them had complicated grief, their average score on the Inventory of Complicated Grief was 33.7 points.

Having complicated grief was linked to higher levels of panic disorder as well as alcohol abuse, both of which was evident in 16% of those with complicated grief. Bipolar patients without complicated grief suffered from panic disorder and alcohol abuse at a rate of 3%. Panic symptoms and phobic avoidance were also linked to complicated grief.

Suicide attempts were more likely in those with complicated grief, 58.3% had attempted suicide at least once during their life. Of those without complicated grief 33.8% had made a suicide attempt in their lifetimes. Those with complicated grief also suffered from more functional impairment and less social support than those without complicated grief. The researchers in this study noted that clinicians should take extra care with those suffering from the loss someone close to them and the potential consequences.

Original Source: Complicated grief needs consideration in bipolar disorder patients. PsychiatrySource.com. September 13, 2005.

This research article was published in J Clin Psychiatry 2005; 66: 1105–1110

Relatives' Criticism Increases Bipolar Severity

2006-08-13T01:49:00.000-07:00

In my ever ongoing research I came across this article:

Relatives' Criticism Increases Bipolar Severity
filed under Bipolar Disorder Symptoms & Diagnosis
Getting upset due to the criticism of relatives and close friends apparently increases the severity of the symptoms of bipolar disorder. High levels of expressed emotion from those close to the person with bipolar disorder can have adverse effects on their course of illness. Researchers used expressed emotion (EE) levels to predict the course of illness over 1 year.

360 individuals with bipolar disorder took a four-item Perceived Criticism Scale (PCS) for 1 or more of their close relatives or friends. They were then monitored over 1 year for symptoms of mania and depression, as well as the amount of time spent recovering. "Contrary to their expectations, the researchers found that the severity of perceived criticism was not associated with patients' scores on the Montgomery Åsberg Depression Rating Scale (MADRS) or the Beck Depression Inventory (BDI)-II over the study year.

However, the results did show that the degree to which patients reported feeling upset by criticisms from relatives strongly predicted their MADRS scores, even after including all covariates" (PsychiatrySource.com).

Every 1 point of increase in their distress to criticism on the PCS, led to a 0.33 point increase on the Montgomery Åsberg Depression Rating Scale (MADRS), upon follow up. Those with higher PCS scores (distress from criticism) tended to have higher BDI-II scores on follow up. Researchers noted that those most greatly affected may be "stress sensitive" to their environment. They believe that it may be beneficial for clinicians treating bipolar disorder to include a measure of their perception of their family relationships.

SOURCE: Getting upset by relatives' criticism increases bipolar disorder severity. PsychiatrySource.com. September 20, 2005.

?

2006-08-12T00:51:00.000-07:00

whats the frequency Kenneth?

Lieberman Cartoon from Slate

2006-08-11T16:09:00.000-07:00

Click on the title for a link to Slate

Girls gone Wild

2006-08-10T20:06:00.000-07:00

Proof that I read entirely too much…about pretty much anything…GGW founder Joe Francis assaulted LA Times reporter, Claire Hoffman, as she was attempting to do an honest piece on the empire built on candid shots of women pulling up their shirts in public.

Amanda Marcotte, via Jessica, quotes:

Joe Francis, the founder of the "Girls Gone Wild" empire, is humiliating me. He has my face pressed against the hood of a car, my arms twisted hard behind my back. He’s pushing himself against me, shouting: "This is what they did to me in Panama City!"

While Hoffman is present, Amanda writes: "[Francis] appears to rape a teenager." (Go HERE if you want to read more about that).

The more important part of Amanda's post is the subtler point she makes about a "throwaway" clip from the article.

But the women are changing, Francis tells me, and that makes him sad. In the beginning, when “Girls Gone Wild” cameramen first popped up in clubs, the women who revealed themselves seemed innocent—surprised, even, by their own spontaneity. Now that the brand is so pervasive, the women who participate increasingly appear to be calculating exhibitionists, hoping that an appearance on a video might catapult them to Paris Hilton-like fame.

Amanda writes:

"To rephrase this bluntly, Francis doesn’t like working with women who are getting something out of it... The fantasy is not just regular girls getting naked, which is something I have exactly zero problem with. It’s a little more complex than that. The idea is to bend a usually unwilling woman to your will and enjoy the submission. Women who march up to the camera and say they want to be filmed in sexual situations are not bending to anyone’s will and that takes the fun out of it. Very, very telling."

Old Stories

2006-08-10T19:21:00.000-07:00

“No matter how cynical you become, it's never enough to keep up.”-Lily Tomlin
"Be very, very careful what you put into that head, because you will never, ever get it out." -Thomas Cardinal Wolsey

BLEH…….

Sun in Ultraviolet

2006-08-09T04:18:00.000-07:00

I, as should be obvious (sometimes), am huge astronomy buff. When I found this last image cruising through the APOD astronomy picture gallery I just had to post it here. By the way the previous post actually has almost nothing to do with astronomy but is rather more complex...maybe I'll go into one day.
This is an image of our Sun taken in ultraviolet light...WOW Follow zee link http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/ap060710.html
If you click on the title of this post it should link you to the APOD page I frequent almost daily and here it is again; http://antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov/apod/archivepix.html

I Have A Secret Heliocopter

2006-08-09T01:53:00.000-07:00

Io, Callisto, Ganymede, Europa

Art odds and ends

2006-08-09T00:03:00.000-07:00

Art from Me and Drew in Athens

2006-08-08T23:41:00.000-07:00

When I lived in Athens I was friends with a fellow artist and neigbor who introduced me to glass art, I love it. We worked on many works together ...mostly in glass but I did introduce the importence of structure in abstract when we did a number of paintings together. Drew remains the only artist I have ever been able to work in that way with. It wasn't easy we are both nuts and difficult people but I think the art speaks for itself

a question of balance

2006-08-08T23:12:00.000-07:00

Is the price of the cure worth the pain of healing?

2006-08-08T19:58:00.000-07:00

In the shadow of a North West Tsunami

2006-08-08T19:35:00.000-07:00

My friend Mike called me one day while watching a Discovery Chanel Program about the possiability of a Nort West Tsunami to inform me that I lived at ground zero...I know dude, I know....But evrywher you go there is danger so what are you supposed to do?

Our Block

2006-08-08T18:47:00.000-07:00

Astoria again

2006-08-08T18:32:00.000-07:00

Astoria

2006-08-08T18:08:00.000-07:00

Tounge Point

2006-08-08T18:07:00.000-07:00

Dexter Gordon

2006-08-08T17:38:00.000-07:00

Places

2006-08-08T09:02:00.000-07:00

I hope before I pass (One day) I have the oppertunity to visit India, Arabia, Central Africa and Australia/New Zealand ...and well Antartica as well too...

Snack

2006-08-08T08:54:00.000-07:00

When everyone in the house is asleep and you are watching the T.V. with the sound level set at a very low "9" don't choose Doritos as a compliment snack or you may miss why the Yoga master is doing all those funny things you are watching him do on The Science Channel

Bad Weekend

2006-08-08T08:46:00.000-07:00

This weekend was such a contrast to last weekend. I would have to give it an overall rating of about a 15-20 (Scale is 1-111) bleh...I am glad it's over...Couldn't give you a cause but thank whatever for Shanzi (Shannon) or it could've been a lot worse. Finally got my Seroquel and maybe thats the difference between then and now. I have had manias in the past that kept me awake 36 hours or more at a time but never a depression That did (I normally sleep through those or at least do little. This one was very different and honestly very scary. I thought I might leap from my 4th story window. Today is better though ...so far about a 40-45 a bored 40-45 but none the less better...Onward
Tic Toc

The Bubblemen are coming, DON'T ROCK WOBBLE

2006-08-08T07:51:00.000-07:00

dream

2006-08-02T06:31:00.000-07:00

I just awoke, it's 6:30 am andI just had a dream about Max ...I dreamed I could see him through a camera but he was not to be seen I looked and looked but he was not there....

angel soft toilet paper

2006-08-01T15:43:00.000-07:00

Angel soft toilet paper...If there was a God do you think he would dedicate some of the heavenlychorus to this task?

Links

2006-08-01T05:54:00.000-07:00

My template is acting looney toons and I can't seem to edit my links so until I get this firgured out here are some of note:
http://bipolardaily.blogspot.com/
http://thickthin.blogspot.com/
www.npr.org/
www.badastronomy.com/
http://theicarusproject.net/
http://www.kingfeatures.com/features/comics/bizarro/about.htm
http://www.comics.com/comics/pearls/archive/pearls-20060722.html
These are but a few and I am lazy ...look for htese and more to become perm soon

Astoria Oregon is....

2006-08-01T00:56:00.000-07:00

It is in the words of Steven Morrissey "The seaside town they forgot to bomb".

So many Americans

2006-07-31T23:41:00.000-07:00

Astoria

2006-07-31T22:18:00.000-07:00

The place where I live.

Caty's Story

2006-07-30T23:50:00.000-07:00

This is a reprint of an excellent article posted on the Icarus project website, http://theicarusproject.net/ , which I found on the Bi POlar Guy's blog, http://bipolardaily.blogspot.com/ . I can't say enough good things about both of these so I will just get on with the article
Caty's Story
By: Caty Simon

I remember therapy—I remember the array of their tasteful, decorative little offices, all the little tchochkes that were supposed to demarcate the small variations among their bourgeois personalities. Were they a sensitive New Age therapist—was the office bedecked in fuchsia quilts and crystal and all those other oh-so-spiritual consumer products? Were they a neo-Freudian therapist, with that imposing bookshelf of fat leatherbounds in perfect unread condition—Father Daughter Incest was the unfortunate title always directly in my view in one worthy’s office with all the delightful mental images it called up. Were they the savior surrogate parent type, with all the testaments to that loving transference, ostentatious displays of the patients’ artwork slavishly dedicated to them all over the room? And the constants—the imposing therapist’s chair, more like a throne, really, from which they peered down at the little “manic depressive” teenaged me, the “client”, in my perch near some luxurious houseplant. This seating plan never varied no matter what breed of therapist I encountered in my career as a patient. I remember the walls covered with their various degrees and awards, seemingly just to emphasize the difference between the accomplished professional and the decompensating mental patient in their care. Later, during my academic theory days, nobody had to explain the concepts of “asymmetry” and “hierarchy” to me twice.

I remember my psychiatrist briskly beginning each appointment by asking me how my mood was. As if I was just a walking receptacle for my “mood”, some ineffable quality untouched by my decisions, my values, or any of the situations I found myself in. I remember my therapist, who was supposedly helping me emerge from my depression, chiding me about forgetting to take the very mood stabilizer which itself was the cause of the intractable depression I suffered throughout my late teens. I remember how all my therapists affirmed the death sentence given to me by the mental health industry and the mainstream culture which embraced it: that contrary to the real scientific facts on the issue which I would discover years later, my genetic makeup guaranteed that I would live with a “mental illness” which could not be cured until the day I died. You can imagine how helpful this prediction was to a depressive teenage girl’s self-esteem, but there it was. Of course, my illness could be treated—in fact, it was imperative that it was treated through expensive medication regimens brought to me by Big Pharma and paid for by my parents’ insurance, regardless of the damaging side effects I might and did experience or the actual proven effectiveness of the medications. (And speaking of tchochkes, I don’t think I really need to add to the chorus of voices crying foul about all those Prozac pens and Zyprexa notepads festooned about each shrink’s office and what all that product placement meant.)

Then, of course, there were the more insidious atrocities. The way therapy pathologized my politics—and I can’t even blame psychiatry for this like a good little member of the consumer/(ex)patient/survivor movement because the tradition my therapists followed by dismissing my “intellectual defenses” whenever I went off about how capitalism destroyed community (especially mine) and how the mental health industry was oppressive (especially to me.) This would earn maybe a small amount of attention until they tried to get back to what was really bothering me—as if it was inconceivable that that was what was really bothering me. I would think of a blurb in bold I’d read in a the local feminist journal, in an article critiquing therapy: “We can’t change the world—that’s a given, right—so what can we do to change you?” After all, my scathing critique of the society I lived in had very little place in an institution whose goal was to make me a more highly functioning member of society. Years later when I finally decided to expand on my leftist babble to the point of leaving the house and finally throwing myself into various human right’s movements, finding validation and community through my part in them and easing away from my depressive immobility, I still wondered why none of my therapists had ever encouraged me to put my proverbial money where my mouth was and do something about all my ideas. Doing something about all the things that depressed me seemed like such an intuitive way to combat my depression, after all. But I guess they liked it better when my money went in their direction. I guess they liked me better prone in their offices talking about my mother.

Ah, my mother. And my father too, while we’re at it. The real meat and potatoes of therapy, the developmental analysis. I could see each and every one of my therapists smack their lips when we really got down to talking about family and formative years, see how they would crow over every new insight about, say, what my mother used to say to me when I was a toddler. It was almost impossible to show them that there was a crucial step between self-knowledge and self-control—and that all important self-knowledge would not stem from looking back at that grisly family milieu. I myself, for example, was “traumatized” more by the slings and arrows of early middle school, but how could you tell a shrink that? And I just kept waiting for when one of my shrinks would tell me what to do with all this knowledge, how I could get better. If we spent half as much time talking about that, about what I wanted to talk about, I might have emerged from my teenaged morass years earlier.

It’s not that all my therapists were bad people—a couple gave me some valuable insights along the way. One woman I saw for some time, during the worst of my medication induced depression, when I basically spent my senior year of high school in bed, gave me one of the few bits of hope that actually pierced through my haze of utter hopelessness. You see, despite the years of psychiatrization I had undergone at that point, despite everything everyone and everything around me was telling me, I still suspected that all this “mental illness” stuff was a farce. But in my depressive self-hatred, I blamed my long stasis on an intrinsic character defect—on my laziness. When I shared my thinking with this therapist, she told me quite simply that she didn’t believe in laziness. In her experience, people always had good reasons for periods of inactivity, or even for “low achievement” throughout their lives. Later, I would realize that I did have quite a few good reasons for my bedridden season, and that in fact it was all a very understandable emotional response to many things that were happening at the time. But at the time, this woman was kind enough to help me stop holding myself in contempt. She was also the one that helped me see what a sexist crock of shit the diagnosis of “borderline personality disorder” was. She pointed out that 90% of the people diagnosed with the disorder were women, and that something like 80-90% of them had suffered some form of abuse. Yet, the correlation between the abuse and the behaviors described in the diagnosis was not mentioned in the DSM-IV—why wasn’t borderline personality disorder redefined as another variant of post traumatic stress disorder, rather than pinning the behavior on something intrinsically wrong with the abused women who displayed them? She went on to show me how the symptoms were basically an illustration of male disgust with extreme examples of normal female socialization. Thanks to her, I was able to reject this elaborate insult in the form of a diagnosis handed to me by the psychiatric system. Nowadays I jokingly refer to it as a description of the doctor’s worst stalker ex-girlfriend.

The thing is, none of these good individuals mattered one bit when they were working within an oppressive system. None of these people, even the best of them, helped me get better, ultimately, b/c not only did therapy undermine me in the myriad ways listed above, it was simply ineffective. What I needed was a community of concerned, socially active people to become engaged with and learn how to relate to, whereas therapy locked me in a room with one bourgeois professional with whom I had a totally artificial relationship—how many relationships outside the therapeutic sphere are so one sided?—who wanted me to become more socially adjusted.

So I gave up on therapy. But for a great many years, it was obvious to me that I would have to improve upon it somehow. No matter how much “work” I did on my own to curb my emotional extremes, it just wasn’t effective enough. I knew that if therapy was actually capable of what it set out to do it would be just the treatment for me, so what sort of thing would succeed where therapy failed? At the same time, I felt drawn to do political work around the human rights abuses I myself had witnessed occurring within the mental health system. It was weird, it seemed that everyone I found in my new leftist friendship circles agreed with me about everything except that one issue. When it came to mental health, they were as mainstream as could be, selling their Aderall prescriptions all over campus when they weren’t sped up on them themselves, informing me solemnly that they had XYZ disorder. I wandered around for a while trying to find the seemingly mythical set of radicals who would politicize the issue of mental health with me. In my quest, I even called NAMI.

NAMI, the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill. I wasn’t aware at the time that this self-proclaimed “grassroots” organization for “friends and family” of those who suffered from “mental illness” was in fact, a front for funds filtered in by the pharmaceutical industry. And the way they “battled stigma”, as they professed in their mission statement, was by convincing all those diagnosed to take pharmaceutical company products and show the world what good little boys and girls we could be. Those critical of mainstream psychiatry don’t have one unified theory of where the different states of emotional extremes labeled “mental illness” “come from” but one phenomenon we’ve noticed is that survivors of trauma and abuse often play out their trauma in strange ways later in their lives. A sad fact is that many of the families involved with NAMI are abusive families, and it’s convenient for them in their denial to ally themselves with a group that ascribes their relative’s problems to a biochemical glitch treatable with pharmaceuticals. So, while NAMI benefits Big Pharma and confused, ignorant and/or abusive family members and friends, they are certainly not “for” the mentally ill, as their moniker claims. Innocent of all this, and eager to do work on the issue, I called them. I told a very skeptical woman about how I was against taking meds personally, and I didn’t see “mental illness” the way the general public seemed to see it…Finally, she said—after telling me again what I’d heard many times before, as if it was creed, that bipolar disorder just couldn’t be managed without medication, whereas I felt like I’d only just started to manage my life once I stopped taking medication—-“You’d like one of our other office members. She likes to say that mental illness is no more pathogenic than pregnancy. But you know, I’ve given birth, and I’ve had a son go psychotic, and it’s simply not the same.” Click

This whole story is really just to illustrate the political setting in Western Massachusetts (and most of the country) around this issue at the time. When Oryx Cohen and Will Hall met and co-founded the Freedom Center four or five years ago, there simply were no grassroots organizations in Western Massachusetts by and for those diagnosed with mental illness to go to for support, advocate for themselves, and politically empower themselves. In fact, throughout the entire country, there was a vacuum. There was Mindfreedom, but it was a national coalition, not much help to someone psychiatrized and politically enraged in Amherst, MA. There were more progressive treatment centers. But for someone done with being “in treatment”, and ready to create some political hell and speak up for the rights of those diagnosed, there was nothing.

There certainly wasn’t anything for me until I ran into the Freedom Center. For years, I’d lectured to my anarcha-kid friends about how psychiatry too could be a system of oppression, but mostly what I’d gotten in return had been blank stares. I lugged around books like The Myth of Mental Illness by Thomas Szasz and Erving Goffman’s Asylums, and Persimmon Blackridge’s incredible book, Prozac Highway, about the trials and troubles of a depressed lesbian performance artist/cleaning lady and the girl committed to a half-way house whom she met over a consumer/(ex)patient/survivor movement listserv made me aware that a movement at least existed somewhere. But without a movement behind me, I was just regarded as a girl who’d taken one of the weird postmodern rites of passage for odd kids too hard. Why didn’t I just shut up and revel in all of this free candy like everyone else? And what about some of my dearest friends, who swore that they could never function without their pills? They were hurt by extremist screeds like the Adbuster issue that basically stated that everyone should stop taking meds immediately b/c they were a capitalist plot, and that we could all just take in the therapeutic effects of fighting the Man instead. And I just couldn’t take myself seriously enough if the most cohesive ideology I could offer them was just a variation on that theme.

Finally, my story comes to the anarchist fair in the Amherst town green on Labor Day, 2003. I drove in from down the road in Northampton, with girlfriend and co-speakers in tow to speak representing a multi issue low income rights group on sex workers’ rights. (Maybe this is the point in the narrative where I should acknowledge that, duh, I live within a very specific and insulated subculture a lot of the time…) After my speech we started idly milling around the literature tables. There was the usual union and commie fare, and I picked up and skimmed through a lot of it. Then I noticed a really unusually untrendy looking person monitoring one of the tables—a perky looking girl in an eighties looking black and gold mohawk and t-shirt that warned me not to annoy the unmedicated person. Then I noticed that the shirt wasn’t just a novelty item—the sign on the booth said—“The Freedom Center—an organization by and for those labeled with mental illnesses.” I noticed the crucial use of the word “labeled”, but I still couldn’t entirely believe what I was seeing.

So I asked the person next to the girl, another standout from the punk crowd, a round smiling man with a white beard in short shorts—he looked kinda like an ex-mental patient May Day Santa Claus—“You know, I’m looking for an organization for ex mental patients that isn’t pro-medication…”

“You’ve found us,” he said, beaming down at me.

“But you know,” I stammered, “I’m also looking for an organization that isn’t anti-med, that doesn’t make people ashamed of taking their drugs, cuz, you know, personally I decided to stop taking medication myself but a lot of my friends still swear by them and I don’t necessarily disagree with them…”

“You’ve found us,” he repeated, still grinning in his weirdly beatific way.

I took a flyer, saw that the meetings were in downtown Northampton where I lived, and a month later I went to my first Freedom Center support meeting.

I was lucky enough to have found what I was looking for, and I’ve stayed with the Freedom Center for the past two years as an active organizer. I speak at workshops and colleges, organize and participate in events and protests, and perform a variety of other functions to promote education and activism around these issues. I agree with—and in fact, am wildly vehement about—every single component of the Freedom Center mission statement, which runs something like this (off the copy on our website): Freedom Center is the area’s only group run by and for people labeled with severe ‘mental illnesses.’ We call for compassion, human rights, self-determination, and holistic alternatives. We stand against the mental health system’s widespread despair, abuse, fraudulent science and dangerous treatments. Our goals are to end all force and coercion, including involuntary treatment and forced drugging; to ensure that all treatment decisions are based on true informed consent; to support effective alternatives to toxic psychiatric drugs such as nutrition, exercise, and holistic health care; to promote voluntary, non-paternalistic social supports such as peer-run programs, housing, and therapy; to expose psychiatric and the pharmaceutical industry myths, propaganda, and corruption; to make true client control and empowerment the center of all mental health services; to defend our human rights; and to end fear and misunderstanding of “madness” and extreme states of consciousness.

But despite how excited I am about how we’ve politicized “crazy” people’s rights in general, I think we’ve really achieved the most through our support group. Its’ peer run model is everything therapy isn’t.

One can’t say enough about what a difference it makes to work through one’s problems among peers rather than trying to solve them within a hierarchical model. And this isn’t just about some idealistic notion of equality, either. How is one expected to become a mature, self-determining and mentally healthy person when every week one assumes a dependent position before some secular father confessor figure? In our support groups, we try to help people make their own decisions based on their own values rather than judging them according to an APA approved notion of what is “adjusted”, “functional”, and “mentally healthy.” These standards can literally terrorize people.

A year ago, a young college student came to our group struggling to escape an abusive relationship. We emotionally supported her through many weeks of terror, and finally helped her talk to her college administration about securing emergency housing. Now, a year later, she is one of our most accomplished activists, representing us in our alliance with local domestic violence shelters and rape crisis centers in working to build better access to these services for trauma survivors diagnosed with mental illness. When she is asked why she chose to come to the Freedom Center for help rather than a domestic violence shelter or other more traditional services, she says that she was afraid of being committed or thrown out of the shelter because of her cutting. And, “who were they going to believe—the hysterical young girl crying and cutting herself with a kitchen knife or the calm, forty year old man who claimed that she was crazy?”

(Chesler’s Women and Madness makes an important point when it illustrates how women bear the brunt of the damage that these standards of mental health can do. The norm for mental health is male, as most cultural norms are, so women are caught in a Catch 22—act according to the way women are socialized to respond to stressful situations, for example, being emotionally expressive, i.e. “hysterical”, and you’re judged as crazy. But act according to male socialization and you’re gender transgressive and therefore, crazy.)

At the FC support groups, we honored her cutting as a coping mechanism she was using to get through an extremely difficult situation—she told us how the cutting left a tangible mark of her pain that she could see so that she could remember that the abuse was occurring, despite her abuser’s denial. We also suggested other, less damaging coping mechanisms that she could use when she was ready to move on to them. We didn’t fly off the handle and become overly interventionist, thus making her feel even more powerless in a situation which was already radically disempowering her. Because she was in no danger of being “reported” and committed for her behavior, as she would have been in mainstream therapy which mandates therapists to report self-damaging behavior, she actually felt safe enough to talk about her problems. (This is what makes so many people feel safe enough to come to us for aid when they can’t have access to the help they need in a mainstream therapeutic setting for fear of being reported and imprisoned.) Furthermore, she was in no danger of being diagnosed, which allowed her to feel safe from the more insidious threat of the damage done to someone’s identity when they are defined as crazy. Because some of us had been cutters, we did not judge her from a supposedly superior position, as a therapist probably would have. We let her recover at her own pace. we let her control her own recovery, treating her as our equal—and that made her recovery possible.

Personally, though, what made me feel safest in our support groups is that the irrelevant specters of Mommy and Daddy were kept back in my childhood where they belonged when I took time to share my feelings. The support group is non-directive, allowing each person to focus on what they want to focus on. It’s amazing how much more you can feel like a self-actualizing, adult human being when you’re actually allowed the privilege of deciding what’s important—-in terms of your problems, your life, and your self. What made me feel even better is that, in contrast to the way I was presented to myself in my psychiatrist’s office, I was no longer a mood disorder on legs at the Freedom Center support group. That is, I was not a little container of crazy spreading chaos wherever I went, no matter what my situation was. People in the support group actually considered the possibility that, just like a “normal” person, I was affected by my surroundings, for better or for worse. My bad mood didn’t have to be my “bipolar disorder”—it was probably just the fight with my lover I had that day, or the fact that I was a queer first generation sex worker, or because I’d missed my bus . Being treated as if one has a rational reason behind one’s responses also does wonders for one’s sense of oneself as a person rather than a mental patient.

At the Freedom Center, we’re agnostics about the cause of the emotional extremes that the mental health industry calls “mental illness”. We do offer people information and literature about the fact that there is no sound scientific evidence proving that “mental illness” is caused by an innate, inherited chemical imbalance in the brain, so they can dispense with that model if it isn’t helpful to them. (For example, despite what Big Pharma would like you to believe, depressed people do not as a group absorb less serotonin than the general population—in fact, some absorb more, some absorb less, and some absorb a “normal” amount.) The only things that have been proven to cause chemical imbalances in the brain are the psychiatric drugs prescribed to treat these supposed chemical imbalances. At the support group, we give people enough respect to allow them to be the final authority on the “cause” of their problems—some trace their disturbance back to traumatic events in their lives, some to spiritual impoverishment, some to nutritional deficiencies, and some to isolation. Some people feel that they have no problems besides the ones foisted upon them by a mental health system in which they have been deeply misunderstood. After all, the people who are most likely to be labeled with “mental illness” are members of marginalized groups—poor people, people of color, and women. We also fully support people if they are firm believers in the biochemical model of mental illness, if that’s the model that helps them live the lives they want to lead best. By acknowledging that people are experts when it comes to their own selves, we create an environment in which people are best able to help themselves progress towards recovery, using the means they feel work best for them—whether that’s holistic healthcare, participation in community, making an effort to self-actualize and more fully live out their dreams, working through the trauma in their past, or even taking psychiatric medication.

Many people simplistically understand us as an “anti-meds” group, when that’s simply not the case. What we’re really after is true informed consent—an ideal that’s on the books in the mental health system, but is seldom truly realized there. So many of the effects of medication have been obfuscated by psychiatry and the pharmaceutical industry that patients simply can’t make informed decisions about matters that are crucial to their health. (For example, Eli Lilly even went so far as to cover up the facts about akathesia, a side effect of Prozac involving such extreme discomfort in one’s own skin that it leads to intense suicidal and/or homicidal feelings. This side effect caused quite a few deaths. Lilly knew about akathesia very early in the drug’s development in the late eighties, but it is only now that the public is really hearing about it.) The real facts about the drugs—that they’re far less effective and far more dangerous than the mental health industry makes out—are just not accessible to the people to whom they are prescribed. Often, this leads to tragic results. In our own support group, we are helping a residential program client file a suit against her care provider. She had been over prescribed so many drugs at such high dosages to such an extent that she was weak, severely ill, and extremely disoriented all the time. When she tried to tell the staff at her program about it, they did not respond. Because she was so dazed and over drugged, she ended up falling down a flight of stairs and breaking her leg in several different places. Another young girl at our support group developed a mild form of diabetes caused by the anti-psychotic drug she was taking. And these are only two of the many drug horror stories we’ve heard at the support group.

By providing literature on drug effects and sharing anecdotal information about our own experience with various drugs, we help members of our support group make truly informed decisions. If they want to get off their drugs, we help them taper off in a slow, safe manner. (Unfortunately, few doctors are willing to help people get off the drugs they prescribed for them. Yet another problem with mainstream therapy is that psychologists and especially psychiatrists harbor such mixed loyalties, sometimes more concerned about furthering the interests of the drug companies that fund them than their own patients. Without guidance, people often choose to go the dangerous “cold turkey” route. The effects of sudden psychiatric drug withdrawal often resemble psychosis or mood disturbance, and the doctors use this as “proof” that the patient has an incurable chemical imbalance that must be treated with the pharmaceutical industry’s drugs indefinitely.) If they want to stay on their drugs, we provide them with as many real facts about their effects as we have at our disposal. About half the members of our support group take drugs, and the other half do not, and we respect both decisions equally. Ultimately, being given information by people who’ve actually taken the drugs rather than doctors who would never deign to sample what they dispense so freely makes a world of difference.

One more unique service we can offer each other as people who have been there are tips on how to navigate a system that sometimes abuses our rights, and is often daunting and unfriendly at the very least. Just existing as the radically collaborative and decentralized alternative support system which we are can be helpful to people who must face down the rigidly hierarchical world of mental hospitals and psychiatry. Being in community is one more thing we can offer a population that’s often characterized by its isolation. We agree with mainstream psychiatry in that we believe that those diagnosed with “mental illness” often suffer from loneliness and alienation and would do well to be embraced by a supportive community. Yet, the mental health system’s solution to this problem is feeble at best. While therapy claims to be a means through which isolated people can practice relating within a safe space, in reality all it does is set up an artificial, dependent relationship. Nobody ever interacts with other members of a community in the way in which it is appropriate to relate to a therapist: in a relationship which is totally one sided in terms of emotional disclosure, a relationship which is oddly formalized, a relationship which encourages inappropriate outbursts by claiming that one of its participants will not emotionally involve themselves personally (as if such a thing were even possible), a relationship which sometimes even encourages a regressive dependency called “transference” as a step towards healing.

Members of the Freedom Center support group see each other every week. Every week, we listen to each other’s problems, offer support, humor, and advice. We do each other little favors the way every interdependent community does, helping with rides and gas money and stepping in during emergencies, “psychiatric” or otherwise. During the week we worry about one another, we e-mail and call one another, politically collaborate with each other and even go to movies and activist events together. We celebrate each other’s successes and mourn each other’s losses. In this way, people labeled with severe “mental illnesses” who are used to nothing but isolation get to experience what being a part of a vibrant, living community is like—that is, what being truly cared about is like. One young man comes to our group every week and speaks in obscure, pedantic tones about how angry he is with absolutely everything. Every time someone attempts to respond to him, he disagrees with them vehemently and incomprehensibly. It’s hard to see immediately what exactly he’s getting out of the experience. But I think that despite his seeming disaffection, he comes to the one place where his anger will be accepted rather than diagnosed away, the one place he’ll be listened to and people will try to understand him—-the one place he can, paradoxically enough, be alienated among friends.

Finally, in stark contrast to the shrinks who condescended to my teenaged political idealism, the Freedom Center does “crazy” people the biggest favor of all by acknowledging that they can give help as well as receive it. By inviting all support group members to participate in our activist campaigns if they have a mind to do so we remind people who may have spent years internalizing the message that they are hopeless invalids that in fact, they are competent enough to have a part in changing the world if they so choose. In a sense, I think we have more hope for the recovery of “mental patients” than the mental health industry does. Mainstream therapy’s highest hope for the “cured” mental patient is that he or she is once again able to conform to the society which cast him/her out. We believe that (ex)mental patients are a group of people who have the creativity and dynamism necessary to change that society.

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Pop and Max

2006-07-30T13:30:00.000-07:00

Arab Costume

2006-07-30T12:19:00.000-07:00

arab costume...halloween is soon to come

Saint Tuesday

2006-07-30T12:17:00.000-07:00

As your day's, so shall be your stregnth

Love and Rockets Hurrah! Well amoung others

2006-07-30T11:31:00.000-07:00

Wainting on a painting to dry

Sisters of Mercy...More

2006-07-30T10:53:00.000-07:00

Some people get by
With a little understanding
Some people get by
With a whole lot more
I don't know
Why you gotta be so undemanding
One thing I know
I want more
I want more

(and I need all the love that I can't get to)
(and I need all the love I can get)
(and I need all the love that I can't get to)

D'you get scared to feel so much?
To let somebody touch you?
So hot, so cold, so far so out of control
Hard to come by, and harder to hold

Some people get by
With a little understanding
Some people get by
With a whole lot more
I don't know
Why you gotta be so undemanding
I want more

(and I need all the love I can get)
(and I need all the love that I can't get to)
(and I need all the love I can get)
(and I need all the love that I can't get to)

There are parts of me that don't get nervous
Not the parts that shake
You won't get what you deserve
You are what you take
Learning to cry for fun and profit
I'm not done yet
Counterfeit dollars or the English zloty
Anything I can get

Some people get by
With a little understanding
Some people get by
With a whole lot more
I don't know
Why you gotta be so undemanding
One thing I know
I want more

(and I need all the love I can get)
(and I need all the love that I can't get to)
(and I need all the love I can get)
(and I need all the love that I can't get to)

All the love that you can get
All the love
That I can't get to...

cartoons 2

2006-07-30T10:37:00.000-07:00

My scanners a hard working machine

Cartoons 1

2006-07-30T10:34:00.000-07:00

Devils Diet

2006-07-30T10:31:00.000-07:00

I'm just a symptom of the moral decay gnawing at the heart of this country

You can't destroy your problems by destroying yourself

A hard lesson learned

Left of center by Suzanne Vega

2006-07-30T09:28:00.000-07:00

If you want me
You can find me
Left of center
Off of the strip

In the outskirts
In the fringes
In the corner
Out of the grip

When they ask me
" What are you looking at?"
I always answer
" Nothing much" (not much)
I think they know that
I'm looking at them
I think they think
I must be out of touch

But I'm only
In the outskirts
And in the fringes
On the edge
And off the avenue
And if you want me
You can find me
Left of center
Wondering about you

I think that somehow
Somewhere inside of us
We must be similar
If not the same
So I continue
To be wanting you
Left of center
Against the grain

If you want me
You can find me
Left of center
Off of the strip
In the outskirts
In the fringes
In the corner
Out of the grip

When they ask me
" What are you looking at?"
I always answer
" Nothing much" (not much)
I think they know that
I'm looking at them
I think they think
I must be out of touch

But I'm only
In the outskirts
And in the fringes
On the edge
And off the avenue
And if you want me
You can find me
Left of center
Wondering about you
Wondering about you

Contradictions

2006-07-30T08:17:00.000-07:00

Contradiction Trivia about me…I am vain you know
-My coffeepot can take up to three hours to make a pot of coffee yet I refuse to replace it
-I am an atheist yet I still go to mass once in a while because I like it and miss it
-I have been a skater pud, a punk, a new waver, a ska/reggae pud,nerd,mod,beatnik. Yet my favorite music is/was old jazz
-I love motorcycles and hate Harleys
-I love my Pop but will not speak to him
-I am a vegetarian but love steak (I don't eat it though)
-I am a now a socialist if pressed to say and have always been a liberal but I voted for George Bush in 2000
-I love my son dearly in Georgia but am afraid of talking to him
-I was fired for being overqualified from my last job though in fact I had little idea what I was doing
-I am American but have almost all English taste
-I love technology but wish I lived in the 40's
-I am a pacifist but fascinated by all things military
-I am straight but people think I am gay (a gay friend once told me I was the gayest straight man in America (San Francisco)
-I don't know if the above statement was meant as a compliment or an insult
-I am an atheist and former catholic and Baptist but everyone thinks I am Jewish
-I am about as white as they come but was made an "Honorary Niggar" by a black friend in Georgia (George…I miss you man)
-I am opposed to divorce but I have been
-I am pro-choice but could never be complacent to an abortion in my life
-I vote green with no hope or thought it will work
-I fight when I know I will lose
-I am a braggart, arrogant smart ass itching for a fight and a peace monger
-I am arroganr and humble (?)
-I am pro decriminalization of drug offenses and yet I hate druggies
-I am a health freak at times (Organics exercise etc…) but I smoke
-I am outstanding with abstract and higher math science but can't handle a check book or a credit card
-I am trusting and not to be trusted
-this space for rent
-I love cars and cycles yet I do not drive

Stay tuned for ten secrets I hate to admit

Greetings in Louisiana

2006-07-30T07:46:00.000-07:00

Boo Boo Be Doop

2006-07-30T07:29:00.000-07:00

I am in a 89 mania mood this morning, Rolling scale 1-111, Started painting a few new works last night and have not stopped since. I am also watching old Bob Hope and Marx Brothers movies this morning and posting here and making breakfast ALL AT THE SAME TIME WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo...who says I'm Bipolr ????????

I have not writen a lot here lately (Most of it is on my sisiter blog of late but I just can't resisit posting pictures here ....Vain me boo boop be doop

I don't want to do the dishes

2006-07-29T19:14:00.000-07:00

I don't...

Mood Meter jumped to a 72

2006-07-29T18:07:00.000-07:00

Yeah go figure...maybe the new apartment is the source of my lift or maybe it's fruit ...72 on the rolling scale 1-111 maybe it's something else...been thinking a lot about Max today ...looking for hope...there is still fire in this old engine and sometimes I can just see hope...thanks Shanzi....

Shitty rainy day

2006-07-29T13:26:00.000-07:00

Today is 55-60 on the old mood meter (1-111 scale). been doing some resarch this rainy North West morning and working on my horriable Sci-Fi novel (Well it kills time on dreary dull days). I was taken off Trazodone yesterday (HURRAH!!!) and put back on Seroquil (However it's spelled) Shannons mood this morning is a mess and I bet it's gonna spill over ...OH yeah it's back to school shopping day with grad ma....it's sizing up to be a hell of a day

Protest with a wink of Humor

2006-07-29T12:48:00.000-07:00

Odds and Ends

2006-07-28T18:43:00.000-07:00

The Band

2006-07-28T18:39:00.000-07:00

We don't need talent when we have cool posters

Groovy Teee Shirts

2006-07-28T18:37:00.000-07:00

Picture Pages

2006-07-28T18:13:00.000-07:00

Just some photos I like some old some new

Max

2006-07-28T14:03:00.000-07:00

Just some Pics of my son Max

This is not a Love song, it's just me out on an early morning walk last winter

2006-07-28T10:43:00.000-07:00

Another Episode Of George Bush , World Leader and King of Clowns

2006-07-28T09:15:00.000-07:00

On a lighter note lets turn ti the loveable antics of our Clown of a president George "I'm against good leadership" Bush

It was quite a performance the President put on at the G-8 Summit in Saint Petersburg, Russia this year. If you, like me, understand the phrase "quite a performance" to mean "whoa, dude, chill." Maybe a switch to decaffeinated is in order. "Yo, Blair." That's how he hailed the Prime Minister of Great Britain at a photo op at the closing of the conference. "Yo, Blair." Sounds like how I might greet one of my friends, but you know what, I'm not the President of the United States of America at a major world summit. Which, as Martha Stewart says, is a good thing.
Bush then proceeded to mumble some spurious advice to Tony Blair with a mouth full of partially masticated roll, answering once and for all why his staff goes to such lengths to keep him corralled like a roping calf in Crawford, Texas, where chewing with your mouth open is considered an art form as well as a compliment to the chef. We got some spoiled fruit running the country and he's loose, playing frat boy diplomat with the big kids, and everything is going horribly awry, people!
Bush, as bored with the whole concept of diplomacy as a five year old stuck in the quantum physics section of a Jamaican library, and obviously distressed at not finding Premier Putin to gaze soul searchingly into the eyes of, wandered around the big conference table finally lighting upon German Chancellor Angela Merkel. Distractedly, he began to give her a backrub prompting a typical Tuetonic reaction, in which Ms. Merkel tensed up tighter than a retaining wire on the mast of a sailing ship in a force five gale. She hunched her shoulders, grimaced, and threw up her hands in an apparent plea for the World Court to augment Bush's future war crimes trial with a sexual harassment charge.
What did he expect? For her to turn around and whisper seductively, "I'll give you a week to cut that out?" She's German, for crum's sake. East German. Everyone knows the East Germans are as cuddly as a stainless steel teddy bear. I imagine we should consider ourselves lucky he didn't grab her butt and make "honk-honk" noises. Or pulled a "gotcha" where he pokes her in the chest and then tweaks her nose after she looks down. And you know the cupped hand under the armpit thing is definitely in his arsenal.

Jobs

2006-07-28T08:49:00.000-07:00

Inspired by my previous post I thought I would post the 15 jobs I have had over the past 2 years, I think my high volume of turn over shows how being Bi-polar 1 affects ones work. In some jobs where they discovered my condition I was treated much differently in a bad way but in all honesty the list includes 1 lay-off for lack of work , 1 temp job and 1 incident where I am convinced I was fired because they thought I was Jewish (I am not) and my boss was openly anti-Semitic .
1. Invoice manager at National Scientific
2. Purchaser (Non inventoried supply) Harris Calorific temp job
3. CTG Front desk receptionist
4. Rebecca and Executive Chef (Friends who gave me an opportunity to excel where I failed them)
5. Schotzsky's Head Baker (Discrimination after a Depakote induced seizure)
6. Washington Casino and Resort ast. Baker
7. Halfmoon Bay bar and grill Sous Chef laid off
8. Coleys Line cook
9. Island Café Kitchen manager …lasted a month there
10. Baked Alaska Baker Nazi Bastards
11. Schooner Chef
12. Locos bar and Grill line cook (While working at Harris at the same time # 2)
13. The Grill in Athens (Working at # 5 then too)
14. Night Archivist for U.G.A.'s Library (Right befor # 5)
15. Host at Tokyo Sushi Befor U.G.A.
Man I suck

The price of being poor

2006-07-28T08:29:00.000-07:00

There are people, concentrated in the Hamptons and Beverly Hills, who still confuse poverty with the simple life. No cable TV, no altercations with the maid, no summer home maintenance issues -- just the basics like family, sunsets and walks in the park. What they don't know is that it's expensive to be poor.

In fact, you, the reader of middling income, could probably not afford it. A new study from the Brookings Institute documents the "ghetto tax," or higher cost of living in low-income urban neighborhoods. It comes at you from every direction, from food prices to auto insurance. A few examples from this study, by Matt Fellowes, that covered 12 American cities:

Poor people are less likely to have bank accounts, which can be expensive for those with low balances, and so they tend to cash their pay checks at check-cashing businesses, which in the cities surveyed, charged $5 to $50 for a $500 check.

Nationwide, low-income car buyers, defined as people earning less than $30,000 a year, pay two percentage points more for a car loan than more affluent buyers.

Low-income drivers pay more for car insurance. In New York, Baltimore and Hartford, they pay an average $400 more a year to insure the exact same car and driver risk than wealthier drivers.

Poorer people pay an average of one percentage point more in mortgage interest.

They are more likely to buy their furniture and appliances through pricey rent-to-own businesses. In Wisconsin, the study reports, a $200 rent-to-own TV set can cost $700 with the interest included.

They are less likely to have access to large supermarkets and hence to rely on the far more expensive, and lower quality offerings, of small grocery and convenience stores.

I know I've been there and am there.

Having fallen from a middle class life style following a nightmare divorce, DUI, two suicide attempts death of my mother,custody trist, and 15 jobs in two years and five hospitalizations I found my self dirt poor.

$7 an hour, or about $14,400 a year, I wasn't in the market for furniture, a house or a car. But the high cost of poverty was brought home to me within a few days of my entry into the low-wage life, when, slipping into social-worker mode, I chastised a co-worker for living in a motel room when it would be so much cheaper to rent an apartment. Her response: Where would she get the first month's rent and security deposit it takes to pin down an apartment? The lack of that amount of capital -- probably well over $1,000 -- condemned her to paying $40 a night at the Day's Inn.

Then there was the problem of sustenance. I had gone into the project imagining myself preparing vast quantities of cheap, nutritious soups and stews, which I would freeze and heat for dinner each day. But surprise: I didn't have the proverbial pot to pee in, not to mention spices or Tupperware. A scouting trip to K-Mart established that it would take about a $40 capital investment to get my kitchenette up to speed for the low-wage way of life.

The food situation got only more challenging when I, too, found myself living in a motel. Lacking a fridge and microwave, all my food had to come from the nearest convenience store (hardboiled eggs and banana for breakfast) or, for the big meal of the day, Wendy's or KFC. I have no nutritional complaints; after all, there is a veggie, or flecks of one, in Wendy's broccoli and cheese baked potato and I am a vegitarian.

There are other tolls along the road well-traveled by the working poor. If your credit is lousy, which it is likely to be, you'll pay a higher deposit for a phone. If you don't have health insurance, you may end taking that feverish child to an emergency room, and please don't think of ER's as socialized medicine for the poor. The average cost of a visit is over $1,000, which is over ten times more than what a clinic pediatrician would charge. Or you neglect that hypertension, diabetes or mystery lump until you end up with a $100,000 problem on your hands.

So let's have a little less talk about how the poor should learn to manage their money, and a little more attention to all the ways that money is being systematically siphoned off. Yes, certain kinds of advice would be helpful: skip the pay-day loans and rent-to-pay furniture, for example. But we need laws in more states to stop predatory practices like $50 charges for check cashing. Also, think what some microcredit could do to move families from motels and shelters to apartments. And did I mention a living wage?

If you're rich, you might want to stay that way. It's a whole lot cheaper than being poor.

God Hates You

2006-07-28T08:10:00.000-07:00

Things that Piss me off...

2006-07-28T07:51:00.000-07:00

Some things that piss me off. This Morning. Remember lots pisses me off and this is just this mornings list (Remember my 50 mood too)
1. Oprah doing a special on what it's like to live on min. wage…come on you egotistical %#&*$, that's already been covered by the brilliant series 30 Days.
2. People getting stiffer sentences for crimes against cops than the general public. This wouldn't piss me off if cops would get stiffer sentences for their crimes…come on when they do that THEY violate the public trust.
3. People who leave stupid threatening comments her not that I mind negative ones but at least show some intelligence ….I do however bet I know who is leaving some of them ….
4. Bush and Cheney….they always piss me off.
5. Joyce
6. My Pops attitude
7. 5. Mike and Willia (See#4).
8. My Meds
9. My apartment (See # 4)
10. B.J.
11. Matthew
12. Bruce
13. My coffee pot
14. Meth heads and other drug addicts…Sheeesh
15. The Jabberwocky that lives in my apartment building (see # 14)
16. The Troll under my stairs
17. .Chris Holen and The Baked Alaska
18. Nazi fucks (See # 17)
19. Shitty coffee
20. Number 20
21. Dumb Cats
22. My body and mind
23. My wrist
24. Gestational Diabetes
25. This goddamn sqeeky chair
26. Coming up with funny crap to put on this list
27. My computers …all the three of the mother%$#&*?s
28. 28.Morning television
29. This list
30. Blogspot….the site has been wacky the past few days double entering my post, blanking others out and screwing up my template…or maybe it's THIS computer or maybe just me whatever I don't care I'm pissed.
31. Not being able to come up with 31

Trazodone and sleep.

2006-07-28T07:11:00.000-07:00

MY mood this morning is a bear, about a 49 (Scale 1-111). The trazodone is killing me by screwing with my already screwed up sleep. It was supposed to help me sleep and while it does put me out about 3-4 hours after I take it hours after I take it also saps all energy out of me the next day, make me clumsy and dopey, and puts me in a state of restlessness while being sleeepy without being able to get comfortable and unable to actually fall asleep … at least for more than an hour or so….thus my mood this morning ….GGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Vrrrrrrroooooooommm

2006-07-27T22:34:00.000-07:00

Daisy Watercolor

2006-07-27T22:21:00.000-07:00

For my little girl on the way here...October 10th couldn't come sooner

An attempt at Pin Up Art

2006-07-27T22:12:00.000-07:00

I have always loved Pin Up art and "Nose Art" (From WWII era air craft)

In a Big Country

2006-07-27T21:31:00.000-07:00

I never saw you look like this without a reason
Another promise fallen through, another season passes by you
I never took the smile away from anybody's face
And that's a desperate way to look for someone who is still a child
In a big country dreams stay with you
Like a lover's voice fires the mountainside
Stay alive
I'm not expecting to grow flowers in the desert
But I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime
In a big country dreams stay with you
Like a lover's voice fires the mountainside
Stay alive
So take that look out of here, it doesn't fit you
Because it's happened doesn't mean you've been discarded
Pull up your head off the floor, come up screaming
Cry out for everything you ever might have wanted
I thought that pain and truth were things that really mattered
But you can't stay here with every single hope you had shattered

mood shift

2006-07-27T16:26:00.000-07:00

My mood has shifted today to a 60...but only because I have a head ache...a caffine head ache...I'm off to make some coffee

More Art from me ...CD art Painted tree

2006-07-27T14:49:00.000-07:00

This little jem is one I painted on an old CD...anything can be turned into art

the new Crime Scene book

2006-07-27T13:07:00.001-07:00

the new Crime Scene book

2006-07-27T13:07:00.000-07:00

Some art

2006-07-27T12:35:00.000-07:00

These are are two of mine and one of Shanzi's early works. I was playing with some Pollock conceptuals and Shanzi was exsploring some aboriginal techniques. I may have posted some of these before but they hold up well in repeats .
Today, by the way is a 73 on the mood meter (1-111 scale)

Shanzi (Shannon) Me and Skully McGee

2006-07-27T12:06:00.000-07:00

Shannon

2006-07-27T12:03:00.000-07:00