Self portrait in rebllion and exile

Please pass the ketchup, I think it's gonna rain.

Oh, I am a vain one. I know that I am not a stunning handsom slice of beef. Indeed, I am more like Woody Allen than say George Clooney. That has never been a source of stress in my life nor stopped me from acting as though I were a great deal better looking than I am. I believe that a large part of how people "see" you is in how you present yourself so I try to carry on a bit larger than is my lot even when I actually feel pretty tiny. My Mother and Grandmother instilled the philosophy that the value of anything and anyone is always greater than the sum of it's parts. This aided the blooming of a roboust sense of pride within my character. This pride is without a doubt dangerous and often false but in proper measure and application it has also served to preserve me at hopes end. That pride has battled guilt and fear and loathing all my life. It has defeated monsters and built kingdoms in my life. It has driven me to attempt to live up to a standard beyond myself (I am selfish more often than I care to admit). When I have failed to meet that standard I have lied, conned and deceived so no one would think I pocessed a self worth I did not deserve. In the end I have learned pride does not ask such actions of me and I need nothing other than to be who I am to deserve it's company.

Thanks Mom.
Thanks Granny.
I love and miss you both this December.