Day 6

I have completely avoided referring to Dick Cheney for an entire day or so. Notice the restraint. I had orignaly planed a daily log of entitled “Cheney watch”- a Nation holds it’s breath . I have not. Notice the “J.D.Salingeresque”* capacity for silence. Why the clam-up? Because the incident has gotten more coverage already than the landing at Normandy, and I don't want to contribute to this climate of hysteria and conspiracy-theorizing and tabloid journalism. I'm above this whole thing, operating on a higher plane**. And thus will mention only briefly my theory that Whittington was instantly killed by Cheney and the man in the hospital is an imposter.
I'm not saying this is true, only that it has some potential latent “truthiness” (A word I borrow from one of my favorite shows “The Colbert Report”. I hope the gentleman in question is doing well and recovers quickly from his wounds, though I'm confident he's been dead since Saturday afternoon. Please, people, don't be pathetically naive, the man was obliterated with a shotgun. Don't be a fooled. Why haven't we seen hide or hair of Mr. Whittington? Because he doesn’t exists anymore. To get a photo of the guy at this point you'd need a paranormal camera.
This whole thing reeks of a cover story, and one a lot more fun than any Tri-lateral Illumunati bullshit. To boot it sounds more crediable than Roswell Incident cover ups I get to hear all too often…sigh.. Any way to continue; The fact that Cheney has claimed to be the gunman makes me wonder if he's covering up something even darker: Like, he killed Whittington weeks ago and this whole thing was an attempt to concoct a way to dispose of the body. By the way, notice that Cheney himself said he didn't speak publicly right away because no one would believe him. [Hume: "...it does raise the question of whether you couldn't have headed off this beltway firestorm if you had put out the word to the national media..." Cheney: "Well, who is going to do that? Are they going to take my word for what happened?"]. Special note: This excuse for coming forward on the truth does not apply to any thing associated with CIA intelligence about the notorious WMS –weapons of mass destruction with members of our presidential administration.***
It's simple. Cheney fires his shotgun, boom, Whittington's vaporized, and the V.P. has to go into the kind of crisis-management mode for which he is famous. First he looks around and asks if the Secret Service plans to carry him bodily to a bunker somewhere. Then he realizes that he is fortuitously prepared to handle precisely this kind of disaster. He travels with a large entourage: military attaché, personal doctor, heart surgeon, endocrinologist, podiatrist, sommelier, outrider, hair stylist, and so on, right down to the body double who, whenever Cheney hunts, is always standing by to play the role, if necessary, of "gunshot survivor." And so one thing leads to another, and here we are. And that's all I'm saying about it. Que ominous music and still shot of fuzzy photo…


*An adjective of my own personal fashion
**Yeah right, I know I know…
***I exempt Colin Powel from this group of self righteous lying republican-nazi goobers. The man went on record in a press conference with the BBC a few weeks ago to admit the presidents office acted on false information and deliberately misled the public on this matter. I have and continue to respect this man, he is one of the few conservatives out there today with any integrity or honesty demonstrated.

One last Cheney folly I just can’t resist. I laughed aloud when I made this and I just have to use it. I hope you will forgive the Beavis and Butthead nature of this post. Lol!
In the photo to the right is a picture of Vice president "Dick" Cheney as he answers a question about the size of his penis. The question was part of a series from west coast journalist Fran Shempnickle that probed into why Cheney was such an ass hole. After the press conference spokespeople for Cheney and his staff pointed out that it was demonstritive proof that the presidential administration was both tolerante and in pocession of a sense of humor, something they have been acused of lacking in the past. As to journalist Shempnickle, it sad to report that we won't be hearing from him in the future as he was fataly shot in an unrelated hunting accident later. I thought this sounded fishy and I wondered if his outspoken line of questioning had made him the target of a goverment assination. I made a few calls and found out a few things; that despite the fact that mr. Shempnickle was a vegitarian, had never owned or fired in his lifetime and does not hunt he does however frequently wonder through wooded areas in a deer costume. Why he does this is a mystery, it is prehapes for the same reason some folks go base jumping, climb rock faces, and ride roller blades, for the thrill. Maybe Mr. Shempnickle was an adrinaline junkie who loved teasing Death. It seems the most likely senario to me.