Insanity is nuts

Why is it when some people cross the fine line that separates the insane from the sane and develop odd delusions so many of them begin to think they’re the Jesus? Why not Buddha?” Particularly in America, where there are more that people resemble Buddha than Jesus*. This broad axiom is especialy true in the more rural parts of this land but by no means exclusive to thse places.

I can hear the conversation in my head if this mental crisis occurred in one the people I just mentioned. One of those with that Buddha body build.

"I am BUDDHA!” Bubba Redneck might declare out of the blue.

“No,You are Bubba!” I would say back to Bubba,I have a duty to say such things being the incredibly good example of perfect sanity that I obviously am. It should also be clear that being the naturally compassionate individual I am, I would want to anchor this poor fellow to reality. The fact I love talking to the insane is entirely beside the point.

I was Bubba but I transfigured. I'm Buddha now.”

“Don’t you mean ‘transcended’? If you are Buddha now that would also mean you are, well, a Buddhist. Buddhist Transcend not Transfigure. Transfiguration is essentially a Christian thing. At least I think so, hell i'm not sure. Thats beside the point, you are not Buddah you are Bubba. If you don't beleive me just take a look at your belt. It clearly reads 'Bubba' and thats you pal. Bubba. I was there when you bought that damn thing at the mall of Georgia last 4th of July.” I inform my friend in this imaginary conversation.

"I could change my belt, all I got do is change the b's to d' and add an h"

"Buddah,..I mean Bubba Buuddhist are strict vegitarians and hold the sanctity of life in very high regard, that means no meat and no hunting"

"I could always eat chicken instead, I like chicken."

"That's meat too Bubba"

"No, it's not, it's a bird."

"That counts bud. Birds are animals, animals are meat. ALL animals even the nasty, stupid, ill tempered filthy ones. Chicken is out that includes Chicken McNuggets too I'm afraid."

"McNuggets too?" Bubba asks me in a deflated tone of voice after a pause in our dialoge.

"Yup" I tell him. My answer is followed by another brief pause after which Bubba's eyes brighten and he smiles. There is a sense of well being and "confidence of purpose" to his demeanor again


“Oh” he would answer.

“That case then I’m Jesus.”

Now back to your regularly scheduled realty, Thank you for tuning in.
*Except in Southern California
Thank you for the inspiration Bill. You always were and will always be cool.